November 2004

November 30, 2004

Went to a school drinks evening at The Wrestlers. (The parents of one of the boys in Nova’s class actually own — or at least manage — the place…) We’d arranged for Sam to babysit, so Adam joined me when he got home from Germany. It was a really nice evening, and good to meet some of the other parents, mostly moms.

It was about 12:15am when we got home. “How was Nova?” I asked Sam, fully expecting the usual “all quiet” report. “It’s been pretty eventful actually,” she said. Nova had woken up about 9pm, and Sam went down to discover that she’d wet her pyjamas — but not her bed. She changed her and got her settled. A couple of hours later Nova woke again, but when Sam went in, she said she didn’t need anything.

I went to check on her, and there she was lying there with her eyes wide open in the dark. I think she’d probably been awake for ages, waiting for us to come home. She was pretty adamant about coming into bed with us, and after a dose of Nurofen and another change of pajama bottoms, we tucked her in with us. Unfortunately, she was wide awake, and didn’t have any interest in sleeping. In fact, she was convinced that it was morning time and kept going on about getting up for breakfast. And when she did finally start to doze off, she’d start coughing and wake herself up again. At about 3:30, we finally decided to dose her with cough medicine, and then I couldn’t sleep for worrying that the two medicines would react together…

November 29, 2004

Nova woke up at 5:30am this morning. We heard her calling out, and Adam went and fetched her in with us. Her nose is running like a tap, but her appetite seems to have returned, and she was keen to go to school.

Adam is off to Germany for one of his Adidas meetings tomorrow, so Nova and I had the evening to ourselves. I wrote Christmas cards while she made a series of drawings of the characters from her favourite Nick Junior shows, and a marvellous Santa with a big scruffy beard.

I did both the bed stories and hug and busy day. She wasn’t bothered about Adam being away, which is good. She was more worried about whether tomorrow is a dress day or not. They are all dress days at the moment…

November 28, 2004

Nova seemed a bit better this morning, but we decided against swimming. Adam went off to the gym for a workout first thing while I got her breakfasted and ready for church. I’d planned to take some time for myself while they were out of the house, but ended up using the time cooking instead: red rice salad for work lunches; chickpeas and pasta for dinner, and shortbread for Christmas.

Did our regular farmer’s market shop, and ate a lunch of freshly grilled sausage sandwiches in the car. Went round to the Garfunkels for afternoon tea. Doron and Antonia are off to Australia for Christmas, so it was the last time the family would be getting together until January.

Nova and Oliver played very nicely together, but she didn’t have any appetite for tea, and behaved rather petulantly at the table. Fortunately Oliver had a screaming meltdown when Doron “broke his cake” — ie, put a reasonable sized mouthful on a fork — that tarnished his halo somewhat…;-)

We were both exhausted by the time Nova went to bed, and too full of cucumber sandwiches and cake to need any dinner. Had a long hot bath and got into bed with my novel by about 8:30pm — my idea of luxury these days…

November 27, 2004

Went for a run on the Heath first thing — my 6+ mile Whitestone Pond loop. I had an idea for how the leaflet might open (running is good for that kind of thing):

There has been a grocers on the corner of the High Street for the last one hundred years. In only six weeks supermarket giant Tesco has nearly driven it out of business… (something to appeal to their sense of tradition)

Adam had made pancakes for breakfast, but Nova was feeling a bit poorly and only managed two. Driving to my eye test in Finchley, Nova needed the window open because she was feeling sick. By the time we got home she was running a fever, and just wanted to lie on the couch and watch telly.

Spent some time clearing crap out of the garage to make room for the Canadian crap that’s arriving soon. Adam took a trunkload of old stuff down the Holloway Road and managed to get £30 for it.

Sam came round to babysit in the evening and we went for dinner locally, at Mosaica in Wood Green. It’s quite an interesting space — an old chocolate factory that has been converted into offices and artist’s studios, with the restaurant on the ground floor. It had that mismatched shabby-chic, the wine was reasonably priced, food delicious and portions large. We had scallops with sweet wasabi and white bean soup with basil oil to start, pork belly with red cabbage and mash and tuna steak with fennel and roast potatoes for mains, and shared a piece of Baileys-Malteser cheesecake for dessert.

November 26, 2004

Adam had arranged a playdate for Nova today with a little girl from her class. Amy and her mother Claire came over after school and stayed for lunch and a visit. Sounds like it went pretty well. Nova was very gracious about sharing her toys, and even let Amy put in the last piece when they did puzzles together. Adam said he was very proud of her.

Six weeks ago a Tesco opened on the High Street, where the Europa convenience store used to be. It has already had such a dramatic impact on sales at our lovely corner shop that Raj is planning to close in January if things don’t turn around. Adam has agreed to write a leaflet for him and distribute it round the village. We spent the evening with a bottle of wine coming up with persuasive content for the leaflet.

November 25, 2004

I was the classroom helper at Nova’s school this morning, which was quite the eye opener. At parent-teacher night a couple of weeks ago, Audrey said that Nova was settling in nicely, but that “the way forward for her was with her relationships” — meaning “your child is a social leper.”

I suggested that maybe starting weeks after the other children, and being one of the youngest may be part of it, and that given time she probably make a few little friends. Audrey didn’t pay much attention to that, and suggested that we establish playdates with other classmates outside of school.

While Nova did tend to play on her own, she certainly wasn’t the only child to do so… However, I dutifully kept my eye out for potential playmates and identified three or four nice little girls (and a few little monsters as well…)

Things are much less structured at St Michaels school than at Highgate Activity Nursery. There were a number of activities and play stations set up — painting, sticking, blocks, kitchen, dressing up, water, sand, trains etc — and the kids drifted about between them. There was a table of fruit and drinks for those who wanted them, and every once in a while they opened the front door so kids who wanted to could play outside. There were two lots of together time, where the kids were gathered into one room and expected to sit still and take attendance or listen to a story.

Audrey revealed herself to be more of a disciplinarian than I expected, spending ages getting everyone sitting just so, separating friends, and discouraging spontaneous outbursts with comments like “Stop being silly, Hugo!” It can’t be easy keeping 26 three- and four-year-olds in check, but I can’t imagine mom managing one of her classrooms that way.

It was funny how the two and a half hours that whisks by when I’m working at home before going to pick up Nova, seemed to take forever when surrounded by twenty-six rambunctious kids…;-)

Nova and I spent a quiet afternoon at home. Ruby and Jemima came round about 3:30 for their weekly visit. I got the two girls making apple crumbles, which was pretty cute. Ruby was very focussed on the task, crumbling like a pro and expertly spreading the topping over the apples (which is surprising given that they don’t even have an oven…) Nova was mainly into “quality control” — ie., tasting.

Dave came by for dinner bearing books for the girls, chocolate truffles for the grown-ups, and his usual unusual mix of CDs. Today’s highlight was a singer-harpist-poet called Joanna Newsom. I made borscht for dinner, followed by the apple crumble. We were all pretty exhausted, and called it a night by 11pm.

November 24, 2004

Nova is very into Santa Claus at the moment. She informs me importantly of little bits of Santa trivia she’s picked up. This afternoon, we were discussing yet again how Santa will come to our house when we’re asleep and fill our stockings. She said, “But we don’t have a chimney!” I told her not to worry, that he’d be using the skylight. “Or he could use the door,” she suggested logically.

We talk about Santa so much that the other day when considering all the Christmas tasks piling up, I actually thought, “Well, at least I don’t have to find that dolly and cot she wants — Santa is taking care of that!”

November 23, 2004

We’ve gotten into an established morning routine on the days we both work. Nova generally wakes up about 7am and I go in to her. The first line out of her mouth is usually, “I’ve had a bit of a bad dream. Can I come in your bed for a cuddle?” I bring her back to our room and we climb in bed for a few minutes.

Nova’s next concern is what to wear. “I think today is a dress day,” she’ll announce firmly, heading me off at the pass before I suggest a skirt, or heaven forbid, a pair of trousers. We negotiate which dress is best (usually based on the colour of tights available and what she wore yesterday). I send her off for a wee, then help her with her clothes. Nova can do her panties and teeshirt by herself, but needs help with the tights and dress.

“What shall I have for breakfast?” Nova asks rhetorically, given she almost always goes for ‘bix with raisins and Cheerios (although she sometimes surprises us by asking for porridge) and a glass of apple juice. She puts on her pinny, and clambers onto her chair, then pours the milk herself.

After breakfast she generally watches Nick Junior while we get ourselves ready. The final hurdle of teeth, toilet and shoes, then it’s off to school. The walk usually goes pretty smoothly, although she may lapse into her old habit of walking up each of the sidewalks on Southwood Lane and reading out the house numbers, which adds a bit of time. And the other day she insisted on walking backwards the whole way…

I went to a literary event on the South Bank with Jemima this evening. It was a clear evening, and I decided to walk from the office. Crossing Waterloo Bridge with all the lights glowing, Big Ben in one direction, St Pauls in the other, was a great reminder of how lucky we are to live in London. It really is a beautiful city at times, and if you have the time and inclination, there is an endless number of things to do.

The publishing house Faber and Faber are 75 years old, and to celebrate this, they put together an evening of readings by their top authors: PD James; Kazuo Ishiguro; Alan Bennett; Jan Morris; Hanif Kureshi; and Seamus Heaney. They were all wonderful, but it was Jan Morris who really did it for me, reading from her book on Trieste, which I’ve long meant to read.

November 22, 2004

Nova impressed me at the dinner table this evening by eating a healthy serving of cauliflower (I passed it off as “white broccoli”…) along with her fishcake and peas.

Most of her after-dinner playtime was devoted to dancing and singing along with “She’ll be coming round the mountain” on the CD dad bought her. I just put the CD player on repeat and let her go for it. “Sing, mom!” she’d shout whenever I attempted to drift off to do something else.

Went to the gym for a swim once Nova was down for the night. The cauliflower-potato curry I’d eaten an hour and a half earlier slowed me down a bit, but I put in a steady mile of front crawl before relaxing in the sauna.

I don’t swim that often, which is funny given how much time I devoted to it growing up. There was a time when, if asked to define myself, “swimmer” would have been on the list. Not any more… These days, I’d include: mother, wife, runner, cook, journal writer, website manager, photographer, knitter… not to mention laundress, playmate, jello juggler, problem solver, mess tidier, and bum wiper…

November 21, 2004

I’d planned to go for a run while Adam and Nova were at church, but it was so wet and cold and miserable out that I didn’t have the heart. I climbed back into bed in my running clothes and finished my novel instead — White Oleander by Janet Fitch. It was very good, although I felt she spoonfed the ending a little bit.

Took Nova for her weekly swim at the gym. Adam did his laps while Nova and I messed around in the kids area. She wasn’t feeling very adventurous today, and clung to me like a shipwreck survivor most of the time in spite of her waterwings.

Had lunch at home, then headed to Costco to restock on staples like: Wheatabix, bottled water, cleaning products, beer, smoked salmon, and pizza 😉

David called just as I was getting in, and we had a long talk. Gave dad a call as well, and was surprised to catch him at home — usually he’s off trapshooting on Sundays.

I managed to find three bags of stuff to take to Oxfam this weekend. It amazes me the amount of stuff we take to Oxfam, and still the house seems to get fuller and fuller… We’ve heard from the shipping agency that our boxes sail from Montreal on 28 November, and will be with us around 5 December…

November 20, 2004

We all slept in this morning, and it was after 8:00am when we woke up. Ate a quick breakfast, then got organised for the drive to Ben and Michaela’s. They were cooking a big vegetarian Thanksgiving lunch like last year. 

Michaela is a fellow Virgoan, and had a schedule written up detailing when the potatoes should go on, and the Quorn roast go in etc. Everything was running like clockwork… until the bank of cupboards above the stove let out a massive groan, as one end slid slowly down the wall. Fortunately, it came to rest on some canisters on the counter and didn’t flatten our meal. We had some dicey moments unloading all the glassware, but the remaining bracket held in the end. Funnily enough, I’d just be looking in one of those cupboards, and thinking, “Man, they have a lot of stuff in this cupboard!”

Lunch was very nice: the stuffed Quorn roast, veggie sausages, veggie bacon (which is kind of weird actually), veggie gravy, a dodgy veggie bake that no one much liked, baked acorn squash with maple syrup, roast parsnips, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, sugarsnap peas, sweet potatoes, apple pie, and pumpkin pie… Ben and Michaela are the kind of vegetarians who really seem to miss meat. When I was a practicing vegetarian I couldn’t be bothered with meat substitutes.

Set off for home about 5:00, stopping twice in a one and a half hour trip for Nova to have a wee. Once Nova was down, Adam went off to the pub with Eytan and Marco. I had bath, got into my pyjamas, ate popcorn for dinner, and watched a made-for-TV movie about Ted Bundy on the Hallmark channel.

November 19, 2004

Woke up with a pounding headache, itching sinuses and no enthusiasm whatsoever for going to work. I called in sick, and started the day slowly with coffee and a couple of Nurofen.

By 11am I was feeling much better. Adam went jogging with Pete while Nova was in school, then picked her up and took her to Inn the Park for a working lunch with some colleagues. I pottered about at home:

• drinking tea with Jemima
• making a pot of soup
• attempting to make butterscotch fudge (which didn’t set properly)
• made an apple pie for our Thanksgiving lunch in Surrey tomorrow
• moving Nova’s clothes from our dresser to her room
• ironing
• reading my novel

Adam and Nova were back about 4:30, and in spite of impressing Adam’s colleagues with her appetite, Nova was keen for her dinner. I made her pesto pasta, then popped her in the bath. We launched the fleet of paper boats we’d made following the instructions in Curious George Rides a Bike. They floated for a bit before sogging through and sinking.

November 18, 2004

Working at home today. Adam took Nova to school so I could go for a run. It was a cold, wet day, and I was planning on finding a shortened Heath route that I could run on weekdays, but I ended getting lost. I soaked my trainers slipping and sliding on mucky footpaths, and only cut ten minutes off my run time. It always surprises me how I can still get lost on the Heath after all these years…

I was soaked through and freezing by the time I got home and had a long, hot shower before finally settling down in front of the computer. I didn’t get a whole lot done before it was time to pick up Nova…

In the interests of broadening her culinary horizons, I made a simple Waldorf salad — apples, celery, raisins, walnuts, mayonnaise — to serve along with some leftover poached chicken. “What’s that?!” she demanded as soon as she sat down. “Apple raisin salad,” I said. “You like apple, you like raisins.” “Don’t like it,” she said firmly. “Just try a little bit, and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat any more.” I said. She took the smallest piece of apple and held it briefly to her lips. “Don’t like it,” she announced putting it down again. I eventually persuaded her to put a piece in her mouth, and chew it. “I do like apple!” she said. “Good!” I replied, “Have some more!” “No — that’s enough…” she said. Not the first time that scene’s been played out around here…

In the afternoon, we made biscuits. We have a large selection of cookie cutters to choose from, but she’s only interested in making star shapes: no elephants, dinosaurs, rabbits, cats or holly leaves for that girl… We made a batch of Wendy’s cherry slice as well, and froze it for Christmas.

Had our regular visit with Ruby and Jemima. The girls just weren’t on the same wavelength this afternoon. Ruby wanted to lead Nova around on a makeshift dog lead, and Nova wasn’t that keen. Spent most of the visit settling their various disagreements.

Went round Anne and John’s for a “quick drink” and ended up getting a bit sloshed with John. Adam was out for the evening seeing a band with Dave at the Barbican, and once I got Nova to bed, I got to work fixing my computer, which had crashed earlier and corrupted my email client. It was after nine by the time I sorted it out, and I didn’t end up eating any dinner…

November 17, 2004

Went to a management training course this morning on handling disciplinary and grievance issues. It was quite interesting actually, particularly the case studies where you had to decide how you would handle various situations — chronic absenteeism, suspected theft, a bust-up between two colleagues — ideally to resolve the situation, but at least to prevent your company from being slapped with an expensive compensation claim if things can’t be settled.

Had a meeting with the agency who are generating the website’s public health newsfeed after that, then spent the remainder of the afternoon catching up on stuff until it was time to pick up Nova.

I paid Theresa her weekly cash in hand, and drove Nova home. She was in fine spirits, and we sang all the way home. When she was a baby, I used to sing “Bee-bop-a-Nova” to her, adding verses like “she’s so lovely”, “she’s so clever” etc. Nova sings it as “E Pop a Nova”…

I cooked her chicken fried rice for dinner, seasoned with a bit of five-spice powder and soy sauce. I could tell she wasn’t that crazy about it, but she ate a reasonable amount. I do try to make the effort to introduce her to new foods and flavours. It would make life easier just to rotate between pesto pasta, sausages and fish fingers, but I don’t think that’ll do any of us any favours in the long run. It would be great to get to where she just eats what we eat as a matter of course.

November 16, 2004

If I was a self-disciplined and motivated person, I would have got out of bed at 6:30am this morning and gone for a run on the Heath, as per my new exercise schedule. Fat chance of that…

Instead, Nova climbed in for a snuggle, and it was about 7:15 by the time I got up. I left Adam to have a bit of a lie-in — he’s still pretty congested — and got Nova ready, then dropped her off at school on my way to work.

It was a busy morning. The government finally released its much anticipated public health white paper, and there was a flurry of work around that. It should be a crowning moment for us as an agency, as many of the initiatives we’ve pushed for have been incorporated, but instead we’ve got this NICE merger hanging over our heads… Apparently our new joined-up name is going to be NIHCE (catchy!)…

Went up to HMV in my lunch hour. I wanted to buy Nova a copy of 101 Dalmations for Christmas, but it turns out Disney have “discontinued it” for some reason best known to themselves. Likely to force people to buy the live versions and crappy sequel… I bought her a DVD of The Snowman by Raymond Briggs instead. We’ve booked tickets to see it in the theatre on Christmas Eve, and familiarising her with the story first will increase the likelihood of a successful outing…

Nova was just finishing up her dinner when I got in. We settled down on the couch together to watch her new DVD. She really enjoyed it, giggling away at the funny bits, saying how she was going to fly with a snowman when it snows. She burst into tears at the end when the snowman melted — it is pretty sad. I’ve noticed before though that treats usually leave her feeling unhappier than if she hadn’t had the treat at all…

Getting ready for bed, she tried to convince me she should go in our bed because she’d had a bad dream. “But you haven’t been to sleep yet!” didn’t cut much ice…

Once we’d got her settled, we cooked this chicken-kale-chorizo-cannellini thing from Nigella, that’s more than the sum of its parts. It was quite spicy, and I felt like some ice cream afterward, but eating healthily as we are at the moment, there was none in the house.

A frozen banana dessert I used to make in my Toronto days came back to me. We always have frozen bananas in the freezer, which I use for smoothies and banana bread. I chucked a few into the food processor with a drizzle of maple syrup, some lemon juice, and a bit of salt, and thirty seconds later, a lovely frozen dessert! (Garnish it with a generous spoonful of Kraft Miracle Whip and a handful of Kraft mini-marshmallows for a treat your kids will love… I sound like an advert…)

November 15, 2004

Nova seemed resigned to the idea of going with Theresa this morning, if not happy about it. When I called her about noon she sounded pretty down, and Theresa said that seemed quite subdued today.

I went to pick her up an hour earlier than usual. She was much perkier, and seemed comfortable enough with Theresa. They had gone to a playgroup in the afternoon, and Nova had done a big painting, so maybe that pepped her up. I asked her how the day had gone, and she said, “I like Theresa today…” so maybe there was some sort of incident that had put her off.

I seem to be succumbing to Adam’s cough — my tonsils feel all scratchy and I have a sharp headache. We had the borscht for supper once Nova was down, and I was asleep by 9:30…

November 14, 2004

Happy birthday, Wade! Hard to believe my baby brother is 35… Finally went for a run this morning, while Adam and Nova were at church. Initially I’d planned to do my short loop around Kenwood, but it was such a beautiful day I ended up doing the longer loop instead, which felt good, although it took me a few minutes longer than it used to in the summer.

Took Nova for a swim afterward, then swung by the farmer’s market on the way home. I made a big pot of borscht with all the seasonal root vegetables I picked up, and we watched the ManU-Newcastle match, while Nova did her usual Sunday afternoon video-and-popcorn routine in our bedroom.

Went round to the Stillmans for cocktails after dinner. Nova was in great form, running around organising things, scoffing cocktail sausages and Pringles, chatting with people and introducing them to her two little dinosaurs, Robert and Sarah, who are married, apparently… At one point, she asked me who was going to take her to school tomorrow. I said, “Daddy’s going to take you to school, and Theresa is going to pick you up.” Her face just crumpled, and she climbed onto my lap and burrowed her head into my side. “I don’t want to go to Theresa’s house,” she said. “I don’t like her! I want to go to a different house instead.”

I asked her more about it at bedtime. She couldn’t express what it was she doesn’t like, but she made it very clear that she doesn’t want to go there. Adam and I had a long talk about it afterward, and decided we’ll make different arrangements for her. She’s always been pretty good about going with different people, and if she’s not happy with Theresa, that’s good enough for me. We emailed a nanny agency we’ve heard about before bed, and will put the word around at school, in case there’s any potential for a nanny share or some other arrangement.

November 13, 2004

Nova had a nightmare last night. I woke at 4am to the sound of her sobbing, and when I went in to her, she said, “I want to sleep in your bed!” so I brought her back to our room. I got next to no sleep after that. She was very good, and lay quietly, but she was very clingy, and soon had me teetering on the edge of the mattress. It was after 6am by the time I drifted off again, and at 7:30 I opened my eyes to the sight of her little face peering down at me and saying, “Morning time now, mommy!”

I really needed another hour’s sleep, but with Adam still feeling sick, I ended up doing most of her morning stuff. It was a beautiful, clear, cold morning, and would have loved to go for a run, but just felt too tired and overwhelmed. I’ve been feeling stressed lately — there’s just not enough time to do all the things I want to do, including spending time with Nova. It occurs to me that I’m likely trying to do too much. None of my friends with kids work full time, let alone train for marathons, or other personal projects I have going on. Their schedules are more like: don’t work/shop/look after child or don’t work/diet/look after child. Something has to give…

Went shopping in Muswell Hill for the groceries we won’t be able to buy at the farmer’s market tomorrow, and for a shoebox Christmas parcel for refugee children that the school have asked us to donate. We decided to do one for a 10-14 year old girl. There was quite particular instructions about what was, and wasn’t suitable. I went to Woolworths, and ended up buying: wooly hat and scarf; lipgloss kit; psychedelic pencils; notebook; pencil sharpener; strawberry sweets; hairclips; toothbrush and toothpaste.

Adam arranged for me to have an aromatherapy massage in the village this afternoon. It felt like another chore when I was heading off for the appointment, but I was really glad I went. I felt very mellow and sort of dozy afterwards. According to the masseuse, who is also a reflexologist into manual lymph drainage, my calves, shins and shoulders are tight, and my buttocks are “watery” — whatever that means…

Nova dictated her letter to Santa this evening. It went:

Dear Santa,
I love Christmas. I want to get baby Zijada, then I’ll have five babies. Please can I have a cot to put the baby in when it’s tired please. I would like to have a moon in my stocking, and a star. And you have to give me a sky too. Thank you Santa,

love Nova

She carefully signed her name herself, then folded in up and put it in an envelope. She has four dollies that she plays with quite a bit. They’re all named after the carers in her old nursery: Katya, Katie, Sonja and Stevie… but no Zijada as yet…

Went round to Pete and Pasc’s for the evening. Nova and Fay played together for a bit, then we got the girls into their pyjamas, read some stories and tucked them in. Pasc made sausages and mash, with mince tarts and orange After Eights for dessert. They’d rented “Capturing the Friedmans”, so we moved upstairs to watch that. Adam slept through the entire thing — the combination of cough medicine and red wine knocked him right out. A lively discussion ensued. Not like when I saw it with Jemima and we’d reached such different conclusions, but it is a really charged issue, and people get emotional about it..

It was quarter to one by the time I went upstairs for Nova. Even though she was half asleep, she said goodnight to Pasc and Pete very nicely, and gave them both a kiss.

November 12, 2004

Today was the launch of our smoking epidemic publication. I woke up to the story on the BBC current affairs news I listen to, and I was the cover story on Metro newspaper everyone on the Tube was reading as I rode to work. The phones were ringing off the hook all day. It’s the most press coverage we’ve ever received for a publication, which is a bit late given we’re about to be abolished…Getting the publication, press release and supporting documents up, sending out the news alert, and filing the press release with associated sites kept me busy all morning. Went for lunch with a girlfriend from work. She’s getting married to an Indian guy (also from work) in a few week’s time, and is pretty stressed about the whole wedding thing. They were going to have a civil service, followed by a Hindu blessing a couple of weeks later, but are having huge rows about what colours she must wear, how the invitation will be worded, how many people to invite and so on, and it looks like they’ll cancel the whole blessing. Privately, I’m a bit disappointed — I would love to go to one of those enormous Indian weddings…

Stayed a bit late to swell the numbers at the birthday drink for another colleague. It is like the Marie Celeste around here after 5pm any day of the week, but Fridays are ridiculous.

Got home about 7pm. Nova had already eaten her chicken fried rice, so we had a little play — groceries as usual — then got her down. Cooked a mushroom risotto and watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It wasn’t a film I was drawn to, as it features two actors who bring me out in a rash — Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet — but I really liked it. Adam has a nasty cold, and was too sick and tired to stay up with me.

November 11, 2004

At home today, and didn’t get much work done I’m afraid. At least not office work… I’m trying to be more structured in my time with Nova, and had promised her we’d make a necklace. I spent half an hour trying to find the bloody craft kit that Dina gave her for her birthday. (It turns out I’d hidden it under our bed because she was in the habit of dragging it out and dumping all the little bits and pieces on the floor.) Planned next week’s menu and made the shopping list, did the breakfast dishes, and it was time to pick Nova up from school.We had a nice time making the necklace after lunch, and it was obviously good for her coordination to do all that threading. She couldn’t do it at all at first, but soon got the hang of it.

Jemima and Ruby round for a visit at 3:30pm. The girls had a fun playing together, and I actually got to visit with Jemima for once. I cooked the girls wiggly worms (spaghetti) for dinner, with butter and Parmesan.

After Ruby had gone home, Nova announced that she wanted a bath. She was so eager that she clambered in when there was only about an inch of water in the tub. I left the tap running and went downstairs to hang up some laundry and do a bit of ironing. I always keep up a conversation when I leave her in the bath, to be sure that she’s alright. She was nattering away happily about her ducks, when I heard a “drip, drip, drip”. I assumed it was the laundry I’d just hung up, although our washing machine generally wrings things within an inch of their lives… Looking up, I realised that the dripping was coming through the ceiling, and that the bath must be overflowing. I rushed upstairs, and there was Nova sitting in a bath filled to the brim, with water lapping around her chin, still attempting to play with her ducks, although she couldn’t actually look down without putting her face in the water. When I asked her why she didn’t tell me the bath was full, or turn off the tap, or pull the plug (which she often does), she said, “Because I didn’t!”

Adam was out for the evening with a colleague from his Friends of the Earth days, trying out the new tapas bar in Borough Market. I made some pasta for myself and fell asleep in front of the telly.

November 10, 2004

Adam did the school drop off and Theresa pick up today, so I got a full day in at the office. I was supposed to be on a race equality training course, but it got cancelled, which was just as well, as I had a mountain of stuff to do. We’re releasing a controversial piece of research on Friday that ties smoking and smoking-related deaths to health inequalities, and I had a lot of prep work for it.We had an all-staff meeting in the afternoon, one of the NICE bods explaining how great it will be when we’ve been merged into one big happy family, and then another meeting on the Freedom of Information Act that comes into force at the start of next year, and the implications for my direct report who manages the enquiries service.

Nova had eaten her fish fingers and chips by the time I got home, and we had a little bit of play time before bed.

November 9, 2004

I yelled at Nova this morning and made her cry. We’d had a nice enough morning — the usual busy chaos… When it was time to leave for school, she threw a strop about turning off the Teletubbies, and narrowly missed slamming my finger in the door. Then she lay on the floor, refusing to brush her teeth. I lost it and yelled at her, then took advantage of her howls to give her back molars a thorough scrubbing. When the wailing had subsided to sobs, she told me that I was a “bad mommy”. Later, on the walk to school, she said, “I can tell Audrey and Pat about when you yelled. And after school I can tell Theresa!” I always feel so bad after we have these set-tos, and it occurs to me that with the advantage of age, experience and cunning I have over her, it’s a pretty sad state of affairs when I have to resort to yelling and intimidation to get my way.Hectic day at work — one of those ones where you are adding two things to your to-do list for every one you manage to cross off. Adam was supposed to pick up Nova from Theresa’s house, but he had a late conference call, so I ended up doing it. She was her usual delightful self, so I think I’ve been forgiven for now…

Made her salmon, rice and broccoli for dinner, and didn’t hassle her when she ate the whole meal with her hands the way I usually would. Adam got home in time to give her a bath, while I made our dinner. He usually does the “busy day” part of the bedtime routine these days, and apparently I took another pasting over the “toothbrush incident”…

November 8, 2004

Well, it’s a good thing we had that early night, as Nova woke up twice. The first time I heard her calling from her room at about 3:00am that she needed to get up and do a wee. I gave her a hand with that, then tucked her up again. It felt like I’d just got to sleep when she was calling out again with a bad dream, about not wanting to eat rice crackers or something…She woke up pretty cheerful about 7am, and was very excited about wearing her new pink patchwork dress to school. I ran around doing the dozens of things that always seem to need doing in the morning — labelling shoes, making sandwiches, plungering the bedroom sink… and finally got away about 8:30am.

The tube was in a complete state, and I was eventually spat out at Russell Square, about 20 minutes walk from the office, and got completely lost navigating my way overground. It was starting to feel like one of those days…

One of my direct reports is on holiday, and so all the time-consuming Monday jobs that I’ve shifted to him were waiting to be done, alongside the pile of my own. I just couldn’t seem to get on top of the little stuff, and start tackling the real work. Plus I had to leave promptly to go get Nova from Theresa’s house.

She was in high spirits when I arrived, and told me all about her busy day, feeding ducks, going to the library, eating bacon sandwiches and so on, and sang me the new song she learned at school today. I made her pesto pasta for dinner, then spent half an hour reading stories with her until Adam came home.

Went to the cinema with Pasc this evening. We saw something called “My Summer of Love”, a teenage lesbian thing set in the Yorkshire Dales. Pasc liked it more than I did, but it was nice to have an evening out…