January 2023

January 31, 2023

Didn’t run this morning either… I hadn’t got anything like enough sleep, so once I’d made Lyra’s lunch and Adam headed off for his walk with Doron I went back to bed for another hour or so, and felt much better for it.

Pretty good work day – I’m pleased that I’m finding my feet on that front again. While I was sleeping, Adam established himself at my work station and didn’t shift so I ended up working in the living room. Despite that, I put in a good day progressing things for a few clients and clearing a mighty swathe of email. Also paid my hefty tax bill – a downside of working pretty much full time…:-(

Lyra went back to Liz’s after school. She doesn’t have classes tomorrow because of strike action, so I said yes when she asked if she could sleep over. Adam and I both worked until about 7:30pm, then threw together a quick supper of onion and chorizo sautéed, a layer of frozen peas added and cooked through, then topped with fried eggs. The idea came from the Moro cookbook and was surprisingly tasty.

Red wine, Ray Donovan, and bed.

January 30, 2023

I was sort of planning to go running this morning, but by the time I got things organised and had done my meditating I didn’t have time before my scheduled meeting with Basil. Not scheduled by me – he emailed me on the weekend to say he’d come by at 9:15 after school drop-off.

After my extended post-op recovery, where I felt a bit bad for neglecting my clients I opted to do the meeting. So I wasn’t that pleased when he didn’t turn up or text until almost noon, to say something had come up and he’d reschedule…>:-(

It did mean I was at my desk promptly and got all the sidebars launched on the beauty site, sorted out a plugin clash and did a chunk of work on the construction site by 4pm when I knocked off and went for a chilly walk round Waterlow Park, catching the last of the day’s light.

Back in time for virtual parents’ night at 5pm. Lyra’s teachers were falling over themselves to say how delightful, insightful, hard working etc she is and how much she contributes to class discussions. Go Lyra!

We ate together – reheating chicken thighs and zucchini in the airfryer, which recrisped beautifully. Finished season three of Community – only 39 episodes to go…

Turned the telly off at the point, and spent the rest of the evening reviewing my tax return, which needs to be submitted tomorrow. Found a couple of mistakes – nothing that had a noticeable impact on the bottom line, but annoying all the same. For what we pay, I’d like to think the accountant could produce an impeccably tax return. Once I sign those accounts, I’m pretty sure I’m the one responsible if errors are discovered later.

Stayed up too late finishing my novel – Sorrow and Bliss by Meg Mason. I’d been put off by the reviews I’d read, but Pasc said I’d like it so I gave it a go. The narrator was pretty unlikeable, but overall I thought it was pretty good.

January 29, 2023

Adam went off to play football this morning – I meditated then headed to the Heath for a five mile walk. Listened to my Ruth Rendell audiobook (an Inspector Wexford), which is pretty good if nothing to get excited about. Her novels never drop below a certain quality threshold.

Adam had come and headed out again to his mother’s by the time I got home. Made ramen with poached egg and cheese for Lyra and me and sat down to watch Get Out, which I thought was excellent. Leftover haggis for dinner and the penultimate episode of Happy Valley. A nice, chilled, relaxing Sunday…

January 28, 2023

Felt surprisingly fine this morning, once I’d scraped together enough sleep. After coffee we walked to the Ponds for my first diip in a few weeks. The weather continues pretty chilly and the water temperature was only 2°C.

It may have been my imagination, but it felt like it had a bit of thickness to it. Did one wide, slow lap and decided that was enough. I felt like I could do more, but no need to push things.

Had a cold shower, wrestled myself into my clothes and headed off to meet Adam. We’d thought of going to Kalendar for our breakfast routine afterwards, but Lyra is working this morning and she was deadset against the idea. Made eggs and toast at home instead.

Spent a good chunk of the afternoon on the sofa with the weekend paper. For dinner, I roasted chicken thighs with courgette, mint and coriander seeds. Watched Thelma and Louise with Lyra. I haven’t seen that film in a long time and am pretty sure I liked it better this time round. I remember finding Geena Davis’s Thelma pretty annoying and an absolute chaos agent, but things looked different to me thirty years on.

Both Lyra and I was stunned into gaping silence by the absolute beauty of the young Brad Pitt. I remember my 60-something mum calling me after she saw the film to talk about how gorgeous he was.

January 27, 2023

Quite a full-on day… Got stuck into work early as I had planned to meet Millie for a coffee later. In the event that got shifted because we had to record a Jx team video of us dressed up and miming to Call Me as part of a surprise for our colleague Charlie his partner is organizing. Adam, Helen and Jo were together in the office, and Alice and I joined by video links.

Ended up having lunch with Millie instead at Bottle, across from the Gatehouse. She was gratifyingly impressed with the results of my surgery – I’m well paste the Coraline/Frankenstein stage now. 

In the afternoon, I had a new business call with two wellness practitioners who want to create a virtual studio (one being in Dublin and the other in Amsterdam) offering online strength trainin and Pilates classes, as well as nutritional consultations.

I’d also been in an ongoing email conversation all day with the beauty website hosts who I asked to support me with a technical issue. I’d have loved it to be resolved before the work day ended but that didn’t happen.

With all that, I didn’t make much of a start on the Burns Night dinner before 7pm, aside from getting the haggis in the oven. Adam got back about then as well, and took the lead on house tidying and table setting while I flew at the food: mashed potato, mashed swede, mackerel paté, beetroot paté.

I always make exactly the same meal – aside from dessert – which keeps it simple. I had thought of making a pear and marzipan tarte tatin, but ran out of time. Roasted the pears instead and threw together a quick toffee sauce to go with. Doron and Antonia, Pete and Pasc arrive on the dot of 7:30pm. Pretty fun evening, though I bent my rule of only drinking whisky and as a result found myself somewhat drunk at the end of the evening… Que sera…

January 26, 2023

Up at 7am… Lyra is taking the tube these days, and didn’t need a packed lunch as she’s on a school trip to the Tate Modern, but there still seems to be enough to do at that time of the day.

Meditated then went for a half hour run in the Woods, managing 2.4 miles in the half hour this time. After my shower, I put in a good chunk of work on the construction site, as well as handling a significant update for my Canadian wind farm client.

Adam was working from home, but we were both pretty busy and didn’t convene until 7:30pm. Lyra was out babysitting by that point, for our former next door neighbours who now live in a Georgian mansion behind the Gatehouse. 

Leftover cottage pie for dinner and watched Causeway, which we both thought was excellent. Lyra was back in under two hours, having made £33 for tucking a seven and nine-year-old in (the baby was already in bed when she got there). They are always very generous, but this might be a new high…

January 25, 2023

Still cold as fuck… I considered going for a swim in the pond, but decided to leave it at least another day. Put in a good morning on the beauty website – some snagging around the new site design and then started designing a sidebar feature for the news posts.

Called Beulah to wish her a happy 91st birthday. The family met up at the Durum for dinner, aside from Nova and Oliver who are both at uni.

We gave her a pair of cashmere blend bed socks and a jar of the marmalade I made yesterday. Unfortunately, Doron and Antonia also gave her gray cashmere blend bed socks as well as a big wool scarf thing that definitely trumped the marmalade.

Unfortunately, she opened their present first. Lyra and I were appalled, but Adam was oblivious. If our present wasn’t already sitting on the table, I would have pretended we’d forgotten it at home and bought her something else.

As Doron had collected Beulah, we drove her back home. We’d just pulled up outside the house when Beulah said, “I’ve lost my keys. I’m sure they were in my coat pocket.”

After double-checking her coat and handbag, we drove back to the restaurant. They weren’t under the table, or where we hung the coats, or where the car had been parked.

Headed back to her house again and searched the ground round the car, path to the house and front door. “Oh, here they are!” Beulah announced, “I was sitting on them.”

Could have done without that drama at the end of a long day, but all’s well that ends well…

January 24, 2023

Another cold one… Adam headed into the office first thing. Once I got Lyra sorted, I changed into my running kit for the first time in about two months.

Meditated then set out for a run. I decided to just go for 30 minutes, running at a gentle pace and taking walk breaks when I was tired. Managed 2.2 miles – I’ll carry on that way until I’m running the whole time.

Made a batch of marmalade, which took a good chunk of the morning, though there’s lots of time where it just simmers away. Got eight jars, which will last us the year.

Put in a reasonable day’s work for the first time in ages, which felt good. My earnings this month are going to be pretty miserable though. Made cottage pie and broccoli for dinner and finished our film.

Now the Oscar nominations are out, these are the films we want to catch up with in the next month:

• The Fabelmans
• Causeway
• Argentina 1985
• Living
• Women Talking
• The Whale
• Elvis

January 23, 2023

Minus five degrees today, which is pretty cold for the UK. Adam headed down the Whittington for his scan first thing. I changed the bed, did three loads of laundry, made chicken stock, caught up on email – the usual Monday stuff…

Sounds like his procedure went okay – it’s a matter of waiting for the consultant to analyse all the test results and get in touch re next steps. My appointment was for 2:55. I got there five minutes early, but needn’t have bothered. It was more than 2.5 hours before I was seen.

The junior surgeon checked me over, took some measurements and photos, then started removing the stitches. The eyelids went fine, but he struggled with the temple wounds. He was tugging away and managed to tear one open and start it bleeding before admitting defeat and getting Miss Ting.

She removed them so effortlessly, I didn’t even realise she’d done the first one. That woman is a rock star. They are pleased with the outcome so far, and gave me the all clear to resume running, wearing contact lenses and driving.

Made a Chinese dish of roasted aubergine slices and silken tofu, with a ginger-chilli dressing, served over rice. Lyra made some green beans in the airfryer to go alongside. Watched the first half of Good Will Hunting before Lyra needed to break off to finish some homework.

January 22, 2023

Adam and Rachel went for a swim this morning. Despite the icy temperatures, I admit to being envious. Can’t wait to get the stitches out tomorrow and I hope the all clear to resume normal activities. Two weeks is a pretty long time not to do much of anything. One the plus side, I do look incredibly well rested…;-)

Lyra headed out skateboarding with her friend Sophie at the Coldfell Woods skatepark, missing a visit from Kate P with her new puppy Lily. We’ve agreed to have Lily for a week over the half term, while they are on holiday. Lyra will be taking the lead on that and earning the money for Ecuador. Very sweet little dog…

Up to Muswell Hill to collect Beulah’s birthday present (bed socks). I want to make her some marmalade as well, but couldn’t find Seville oranges, so it was back to Waitrose again. Having not visited in about three years, and have now gone twice in 24 hours.

Lyra was over at Liz’s for a Chinese New Year meal (Liz is half Chinese), and Adam wasn’t eating, so I fixed myself the leftovers from his book group meal (plus some air fried brussels sprouts). Watched Here’s To You, Leo Grande. Emma Thompson places a retired RE teacher who hires a male escort after her husband dies. Funny, touching and brave of Emma to bare all on the big screen in her mid-sixties.

January 21, 2023

It’s very cold again today. We had our coffee in bed, then I got up and made pancakes for Adam, Lyra and Liz (who’d stayed over). I’m not a pancake person (or a breakfast person) so I didn’t join them.

Adam is on a modified eating/fasting plan this weekend in preparation for a CT scan on his bowel on Monday morning. He can only eat low-fibre food today, then nothing tomorrow aside from laxatives and a barium “meal”.

Made myself a Greek salad for lunch. Headed over to Beulah’s for an afternoon visit – my first time out of the house in two weeks. It was good to see her, and despite yet another cold, she seems pretty well.

Swung by Waitrose on the way home to pick up a haggis for next weekend. The local butcher only had the 2-3 person ones, and despite Pete not being keen on haggis, Adam thought that wasn’t enough. Naturally, the supermarket only had the 7-9 person sized ones, so now we have enough haggis for 9-12 people…

Lyra was out at a party in Wood Green so it was the two of us for dinner – wine and cheese in front of All Quiet on the Western Front. Beautifully filmed and desperately sad. No surprise it’s in line for so many BAFTAs.

January 20, 2023

Pretty tired this morning after “making rather merry” with Rachel… It wasn’t easy to get Lyra up, but I eventually managed it and sent her off with a packed lunch.

Not a very productive day, but I managed a bit of work. Adam is having his book group round for dinner – I talked through his menu with him, but won’t get involved in the cooking. Lyra came home from school with Liz and Ellie, but headed out after a bit to spend the evening at another girl’s house.

Fixed myself some gyoza for dinner in the air fryer, then retreated to the bedroom, leaving Adam to his preparations. Aside from one occasion, I’ve only joined them once, for a glass of wine after returning from a night out.

January 19, 2023

I woke Lyra this morning and made her coffee and a packed lunch. No driving – I’m not allowed to, and anyway she’s taking the tube these days. Partly because she got in the habit during mocks, but also because West Hill is shut for roadworks.

Another day approaching normalcy. I showered, not worrying about water on the wounds any more, got dressed, cleaned the kitchen etc before getting down to a bit of work. Still not really feeling it – I’m not sure why – but I’m getting some discipline back.

Made veggie soup so that Lyra could eat something before she headed out. She’s at Nick and Tessa’s looking after their disabled dog, feeding it ice chips while they went to the cinema. Rachel came round with a bottle of wine – my first visitor – which we dispatched with a bag of crisps and the last of the peanuts. She left about midnight around the time Adam got back from Manchester…

January 18, 2023

Slept through until 7:30am – Adam must have woken up before his alarm… I wore gloves last night, thinking it might stop me from itching my scalp wounds. Whether it helped or not, the wounds have taken a step forward. They are properly knitted together at last, and it no longer sickens me to touch them. Progress…

Finished pulling my tax docs together, annotating bank and credit card statements, and pdf’ing digital receipts. Sent the whole shebang across to the accountant about noon. I felt like I’d done enough work by that point eyewise, but I took a lunch break and rested them a bit, then carried on.

Adam headed off to Manchester at 5pm. He’s attending a conference tomorrow and needed to be in situ. Back late tomorrow evening.

I made an excellent dinner for Lyra and me – chicken thighs seasoned with cracked coriander seeds, chilli flakes and crushed garlic and roasted in the oven with thick pieces of courgette until everything was crisply golden. Watched an episode of Shameless, which we’ve left on hold for a long time.

She went off to do homework and I tidied up then listened to my audiobook for a while before toddling off to bed.

January 17, 2023

Determined to better today, I took the lead on making Lyra’s lunch for school, helped with the dishwasher etc. Had a shower and put on actual clothes for the first time in a week. Did laundry and some housework and then sat down at the dining table. I was meant to have the monthly meeting I’d postponed with my engineering client, but the drilling next door was so relentless we had to cut it short.

Invested an hour in chasing the clinic for a follow-up appointment to remove my stitches, finally hearing back from them late afternoon to confirm. The silence was starting to worry me, and I was considering the possibility that Adam or Lyra might have to remove them… (I’m pretty sure it was Miss Ting doing her own admin at the end of a day’s surgery, which says something about the pressures the NHS is facing…)

My email inbox is in quite a state of disarray… I cleared a whack of low-hanging fruit and picked off a couple of small pieces of work. It’s fecking cold again, and I had to retreat from my work station to sit under the electric blanket on the sofa.

Lyra went round to Liz’s after school and it was just Adam and me. I made a carrot leek soup with miso, which we had with the last of Wade’s cheese and some sourdough toast.

Put in a couple of hours getting the paperwork for my tax return in order, then watched an episode of Strike. Will finish the rest of my taxes tomorrow.All in all, it was a pretty tiring day for my eyes, which were achy by the time I turned out the light.

January 16, 2023

Woke at 5:30am, then dozed off and on until 7am. I intended to have a lazy start to the day, thus making it a full week off following the operation before shifting the gears. Somehow I missed the moment and dozed into the afternoon… My new Reacher audiobook – a gift from Rachel – didn’t help. It’s really well done, a good story and as much of a page turner as the printed ones are.

Adam came back to work from home late afternoon and Lyra had Etta round to do some revision. I retreated to the bathtub for a long soak with my audiobook to keep out of the way.

Started making a cottage pie for dinner, but had nothing to make the topping with so used the meat as taco filling instead. Watched an episode of the never-ending Community with Lyra, then an episode of Strike. (the one I’ve just finished listening to.) Heard from Wade that Gino Odjick has died at 52. I always had a soft spot for that guy – despite his aggressive play on the ice he always seemed a really good egg.

January 15, 2023

Slept well again last night… this is turning out to be my week of rest and relaxation… My eyes are looking much improved, though the head wounds are still nasty.

Adam headed off for a swim in the pond., while I lolled around, listening to my Strike audiobook. He popped back briefly, then took Lyra and Ellie off to an Arsenal women’s match. They are playing Chelsea and it’s a big enough fixture to be held at the Emirates, instead of the fourth tier ground they usually play at.

I did next to nothing  all day, what’s new… For brunch, I fixed myself some pot noodles with a poached egg and slice of cheese, an unexpectedly delicious concoction. No one felt like dinner. Adam and I had a snack plate, watched an episode of Happy Valley and started the new Strike. After that, I left him to watch Match of the Day and sloped off to bed, A good weekend of football in the mens’ league — Arsenal beat Chelsea and ManU beat Man City.

January 14, 2023

It should be a swimming morning but I won’t be doing that for a couple of weeks. I thought I might bend the rules a bit and go early than the three weeks recommended, but that currently doesn’t appeal at all. I want to avoid getting an infection in these wounds at all costs.

Overdid it a bit yesterday what with the hour-long, on-screen meeting and my eyes feel a bit tired and achy. I took it very easy today, lounging about and listening to my audiobook.

Ava slept over tonight. They headed off to get slime-making supplies, and that kept them busy. They didn’t want any dinner, making themselves pot noodles. Adam and I had cheese again, and watched The Good Nurse. I’m not sure a medical drama was the best choice but it was reasonably entertaining and Eddie Redmayne is always very watchable.

January 13, 2023

I touched my head wound in the night – it was probably itchy or something – which woke me with a nasty shock. I actually felt nauseated and sort of shivery behind the knees, the way I get sometimes around blood or home nursing jobs like butterfly suturing Lyra’s scalp closed after she cut it to the bone.

I had a quick shower being super careful not to splash the wounds. The steam was good for loosening dried blood. There’s a lot clotted onto the stitches that I left alone, but managed to ease flakes off my eyelids with the end of a Q-tip.

Had a phone meeting with Kate. She’s had the same procedure done (though not with the brow incisions) to correct damage sustained in a bike accident. 

Had a long conversation with Beulah, who congratulated me on “getting a free facelift on the NHS”. Miss Ting has definitely hoicked my brow up – I think to compensate for the nerve damage that was causing the extra droopiness – and did both sides for symmetry. She warned me that it might seem too tight, but would settle back once the stitches were removed. I’d be happy if it stayed like this…;-)

A gift box of lovely cheeses arrived from Wade and we tucked into that for dinner. Ellie was sleeping over, but Lyra managed things so our paths didn’t cross. I think I feel okay about seeing people now.

January 12, 2023

The builders started drilling into the party wall at 8:15am, waking me from sleep. They aren’t supposed to commence noisy work before 9am, and we’ve spoken to Alex before. Adam got into a stroppy text exchange with him about it. Alex insists that the noisy work limit refers to things to do with the garden or extension, and claimed that they weren’t actually touching the party wall.

To my mind, he’s trying to dance on the head of a pin. The spirit of the agreement surely intends that we shouldn’t be subjected to “noisy work” before 9am. There’s no way for us to know if they are drilling into the wall – or beside it – but if it wakes me up and sounds like a Romanian builder is on the verge of drilling through the closet that’s not on.

Adam off on his training course again, so it’s another day on my own. My scalp is pretty numb around the wounds, which feels a bit disturbing but I remember it from previous surgeries so I don’t expect there’s anything wrong. I’m scared of touching my head, with a particular horror of itching it in my sleep. It reminds me of after Lyra had her appendix out. We were removing her bandages for the first time, and she said seriously, “I’m scared of myself!” I know how she felt… My eyelids are healing surprisingly well, with minimal discomfort. The most painful thing is remembering the procedure itself.

Had a long conversation with Wade. He’s had a nasty cold – it ssounds worse than the one we struggled with over Christmas. Things aren’t great with Gale’s parents, who are going through some health challenges. Sounds like a tough time…

January 11, 2023

Happy birthday, Oliver — 21 today! Slept pretty well again, though my back is getting tired of sitting up and I settled on lying much flatter but with my head sharply raised on three pillows.

Apparently I look a bit better today though I can’t really see it. I do notice my eyelid wounds are more annoying — prickly, itchy etc, which may be a sign of healing.

Adam was on a training course today, and Lyra back to full time school. So it was just me, the grinding of heavy machinery, constant drilling and bursts of shouting from of the Romanian builders. They shout ALL THE TIME… Perhaps they are all deaf from the constant noise they make.

Headed upstairs for snacks and coffee but otherwise spent the day in bed like the day before. Finished my Strike audio book. I’ve been limiting myself to one premium a month, which I obtain with my monthly token, but as I’m recovering I decided to splash  out and buy the final Strike. Once that’s finished, I’ll join the millions of eager readers waiting for book 8 to come out in the summer…

Adam made lamb burgers with salad and garlic yogurt for dinner. Came upstairs to eat and watch an hour of telly, which was plenty for my eyes.

January 10, 2023

Slept a lot according to Fitbit – two lengthy afternoon naps and a decent, if broken, night. Examining my face when I got up, I could see there was more bruising emerging but that theswelling seems about the same.

My eyes are quite gunked up with ointment, seepage from the wounds etc and I’m nervous of touching or trying to clear them. It limits how much reading or looking I am able to do. The main priority is keeping them from becoming infected, especially as the wounds aren’t covered.

I’m weirded out by how little my eyelids hurt, given how awful they look and what’s been done to them. According to Adam, I look like a torture victim, the kind you would photograph to elicit generous donations.

Spent the entire day lazing/dozing in bed. The noise next door was appalling at times, but it must have eased off in the afternoon because I managed another two hour nap. I thought I’d find sleeping sitting up to be an issue, but not so far…

Felt a little more alert and “myself” when I woke, Had a go at carefully wiping more blood from my face and crap from the corners of my eyes, avoiding the wounds. That antiseptic gel is making things very greasy – I hope we’re doing it right.

Lyra was at Liz’s until gone 8pm dying her hair. She’s in regular demand for her dying skills. Adam made chicken thighs with broccoli, onion and chorizo for dinner, which turned out really nicely.

Sounds like Lyra’s last two mock exams went well and she’s glad to have them behind her. She did my ointment and then headed off to her room for an early night.

January 9, 2023

Slept badly and woke at 6am feeling nervous about the procedure, but trying not to dwell. Adam drove me down to the Whittington for my 8am intake and came in with me for a bit but the nurses soon shooed him away.

There was some initial processing and a brief consult with the junior surgeon, after which they established the schedule. There are five patients the morning session, and we were ordered according to healthiness, with the less able going first. I ended up being second last.

I was led to the changing area to gown up about 11am. I was interested to be issued with two gowns (no more ass hanging out the back), as well as a pair of paper knickers, and informed I’d be keeping my shoes on throughout the operation.

A nurse soon arrived to take me to theatre. She applied thick, greasy eye drops, quickly ran through my details then got me set up on the operating table. The surgical team confirmed my identity and where I was being operated on for a final time and things got underway.

Miss Ting (the lead surgeon) marked up my eyes with a marker pen, then inserted numerous, tiny and painful needles into the brow and lid area, which produced some numbness, though not as much as hoped. I’d expected that they would clamp my head in position but it just rested in a shallow depression like a massage table, swathed with some sort of wrap.

A image of how Nova and Lyra used to subject me to medical procedures with their doctors’ kit – poking plastic pliers into my mouth to remove my tonsils, jamming their plastic thermometer into my ear etc – popped into my mind, along with the realisation that this gang weren’t that different in age. When Miss Ting asked why I was smiling it seemed best to keep the thought to myself.

I closed my eyes and and thing got underway, started with an incision in my left temple. I could definitely feel it but in didn’t hurt. There was lots of stitching and  low conversation with the junior surgeon that Miss Ting was instructing. That was all reasonably unpleasant, and I briefly entertained the hope that maybe they’d also done they eyelid and I couldn’t tell where they were working due to the local anaesthetic, but I was soon put right on that front when Miss Ting sliced across my eyelid and I got a sudden view of the light and ceiling above.

Once again I could feel it but with little pain. I expect my eye rolled back in my head in shock because the image lasted only a few seconds. I was putting all my meditation practice into play, deliberately following and slowing my breath to reduce the accelerated tattoo of the pulse rate monitor.

“Breath, breath”, “unpleasant, unpleasant”, “what is the attitude of the mind?”, “they may be slicing my eyelids open but it’s not the breath” (no shit). I’d occasionally notice that my toes were tightly clenched and consciously relax them. Despite all this effort, I couldn’t help but notice Miss Ting’s repeated mispronunciation of the word “taut” (she pronounced it “tote”).

There were a number of things I felt like saying but kept my mouth shut so as not to distract them. I also noticed that the student surgeon was detectably less good at the task – putting too much weight on my eyeball, and tugging too hard when he stitched.

The hour eventually passed as all things do. Someone cleaned my face with a wipe and removed the swaddling round my head. It felt safe to talk at this point, and I asked whether they’d administered some sort of sedative with the needles, struggling to believe I’d managed to lie perfectly still throughout that ordeal, but on the NHS it’s general or local anaesthetic, with nothing in between. Apparently I was “a dream patient”, and men are typically worse for getting anxious and panicky.

“There’s a  bit of blood in your hair I’ll just give a wipe,” said Miss Ting before telling me I was good to go. I had a fierce disinclination to open my eyelids, scared of what would happen but it was ok. I hopped off the table and leaned against the theatre wall. The nurse led me to a recovery chair had another unsuccessful go at cleaning my hair. She eventually got a washing-up bowl full of water, tipped my head into it sideways and wrung most of the blood out.

Dressed myself and headed back to the clinic where I had a cup of tea and a few ginger nuts while I waited for my ointment and for Adam to collect me. Walked shakily to where he’d managed to park, make the short journey home, changed into my pyjamas and went straight to bed. My head was aching – Tylenol and noise cancelling headphones helped dial down the full-on Jack hammering next door that lasted all afternoon.

When Lyra got home from school she  fixed me a snack (I hadn’t eaten aside from the cookies) and carefully washed dried blood off my face. My unbandaged wounds are all leaking. She also applied my antibiotic wound cream, and took the lead on dinner, the little star.

Dozed off and on (in the upright position I’m supposed to sleep in for the next week), listening to the new Strike audiobook I’ve been saving for this moment. The head incisions are pretty painful but not the eyelids, which I’m surprised by. Maybe there’s worse to come or maybe there aren’t many nerves in eyelids?

January 8, 2023

My last day before surgery… Ideally I would have been filled with a sense of urgent purpose and crossed a bunch of stuff off my to-do list before my period of enforced inactivity, but it didn’t go that way.

Lazy start, cooked breakfast, and mooched around in the afternoon. The only thing I did that I won’t be able to do for a while is have a good, long shower, move a client meeting and set up an out of office alert on my email…

January 7, 2023

Nova headed back to Bristol this morning, Adam driving her on account of the rolling train strikes. I went for a swim the pond with Rachel – her first outing. She has been building up her tolerance with regular cold showers, and found the 7°C water bearable. It’ll be my last swim for a while, as I have to avoid getting my face wet for a couple of weeks after the surgery.

Meditated with Lyra, baked my sourdough and headed out for a flat viewing that Adam had arranged before he realised that he needed to drive Nova. It’s a large two-bedroom on Broadlands Road, very near to where Will and Sara live.

Really nice flat, though in need of modernising. Although only two bedrooms, it has a good sized balcony, commanding views, large well proportioned rooms, and two bathrooms. A definite maybe – Adam should see it as well.

Watched Aftersun with Lyra, which we both found very moving. That Paul Mescal turned in a terrific performance. She headed off to spend the night at Liz’s place. Adam and I had soup, bread and a glass of wine for dinner and started Happy Valley. 

January 6, 2023

Christmas is officially over for another year…

Took down the outside lights and wreath, stripped the tree, tossed it off the balcony, washed and wiped the stand, packed up the ornaments and decorations, removed the Christmas cards from the wall, coiled and boxed the strings of lights, found the hidden elves, gathered together the Christmas books, films, and CDs, boxed it all up and humped the boxes downstairs to the garage, and hoovered the living room.

I always listen to Under Milkwood (Richard Burton version) while I work, which times out pretty nicely. The house was back to normal before noon. It’s surprising how austere it looks at first.

The deconstruction took the whole morning, and we had a date in town to meet Jane at 6pm, so I got next to no work done today. She had three free tickets to a preview showing of Empire of Light, the new Sam Mendes film starring Olivia Colman.

The girls went to a nearby cinema to see The Menu, and afterwards we met up at Mildred’s (along with Elsie) for a meal. I had the vegan chick’n kebabs, and pretty much everyone else went for the Korean chick’n burgers. Nice evening…

January 5, 2023

Adam sent an email to Alex yesterday setting out the various ways that they are violating the party wall agreement and generally pissing us off:

• parking outside the house before 7am with headlights on and engine running, regularly blocking us in
• starting noisy work at 8am (not 9am as stipulated)
• having the ugly hoarding up for 15 weeks and counting (not the specified eight)

They were outside when we got up at 6:45, but without lights and exhaust fumes, which was a definite improvement. Likewise, there were a couple of small bouts of noise before 9am (some light drilling, and driving the earth-moving machines around, but it was sporadic and quieter).

Lyra has her mega exam day, sitting papers in physics, history and geography. She still has papers on Friday, Monday and Tuesday, but she’s over the worst of it.

Meditated, advanced my sourdough sponge (which is worryingly sluggish), then went for a swim with Adam, driving so that he could get back promptly without me. The water temperature was 7°C, which felt relatively mild. Walked to Swain’s Lane afterwards where I picked up ingredients to make a soupe joumou, Haiti’s national dish and typically served at New Years.

It was quite a faff to prepare – a lot of chopping mainly, but also making the épis seasoning, marinating meat, producing a raw squash purée in the blender, and making dumplings, but the finished result was pretty satisfying. Sort of Caribbean goulash, though the meat made up a much smaller proportion of the finished dish.

Quizzed Lyra on her chemistry revision cards – some topics were pretty strong, others a bit patchy. She felt good about geography, fine about history, and doesn’t think physics went very well. After tomorrow she has a couple more exams next week – another history for sure, and calculator maths – maybe one more…

I was wiped out by 10pm and went to bed early to read…

January 4, 2023

Despite sleeping pretty well, I was wiped out this morning. Adam did Lyra’s coffee and she headed off early for a maths exam, so there wasn’t much for me to do.

Meditated, had a shower, started some sourdough and hit the computer. Lyra was back by 11:30am, relatively pleased with how the exam went. Maths is never going to be her best subject, but she’s been putting in steady effort and I’d say it’s paying off.

Made fried rice for dinner and ate with the girls. Adam was out at the first directors meeting for our field project (the three husbands). Planning to go down for an overnight site visit in early February, now that the sale is complete.

Watched Diner, which is one of my all-time favourite films. Thus far the girls remain immune to its charms, though Lyra was tipping more positive this year.

In bed by 11pm, chipping away at my Seven Lives of Maali Almeida. I like it fine and it won the Booker and all that, but it has been a slog to get through. I’ve read other things alongside it, plus listened to a few audiobooks. Will be pleased to see the back of it…

January 3, 2023

Woke at 4:30am and could not get back to sleep. Decided to try the advice to get out of bed and come upstairs to read until I felt sleepy again, but that didn’t work at all…

Lyra wanted waking at 7:30am, so I did that and made myself generally helpful and available – prepping breakfast and snacks, putting on her laundry, finding tights, testing her from study notes – until she headed off to sit English lit, followed by biology.

Walked down to the Ponds for a swim, despite the chilly, drizzly weather. I want to swim every month this winter, and will definitely be out of action for a good couple of weeks after my surgery next Monday. I quite enjoy swimming when it’s raining actually, and the surface level view of the rain drops hitting the water.

Hung out with Nova and did some bits of work in the afternoon, but didn’t manage to get to my invoicing, which I’ll have to nail tomorrow. Lyra’s two exams went okay – she thought English was strong, biology less so…

Made a chickpea, kale and coconut milk stew for dinner, with vermicelli noodles for the family portions. Watched The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse, this year’s BBC Christmas special. Beautiful illustration and animation, though there were some serious plot gaps (even for a childrens’ book), and the dialog was a steady barrage of inspirational quotes.

Played a round of Articulate – Lyra and I managed to eke out a victory against the formidable pairing of Nova and Adam. Quizzed Lyra on history and geography for an hour before calling it a night. She actually has a maths exam tomorrow, then those two (plus physics) on Thursday. She’s put a lot of steady application into maths and felt it was a better use of her time to focus on those subjects.

January 2, 2023

I had trouble falling asleep last night, which is unusual for me (probably that sofa nap). I typically fall asleep within minutes, but occasionally wake up in the night. Apparently, anxious people have trouble falling asleep and depressed people tend to wake in the night. I don’t think I’m depressed at all, but probably more depressed than anxious.

Meditated then headed down to Millie’s to see the new flat. It’s pretty nice – I do love a mansion block. A two bedroom would be a bit small for us but would be pretty happy with a three-bedroom version of the place.

Cheese and crackers for lunch. Continuing with the leftover theme, we had turkey and brussels curry for dinner, spelling the end of this year’s turkey. Didn’t even have to freeze any.

Watched The Dead, which always signals the winding down of our Christmas hols. Lyra is back to school (and mock exams) tomorrow, and Adam and I are back to work…

Predictions

• Jimmy Carter (Andrea), Maggie Smith (Lyra), Mary Berry (Nova), David Attenborough (all), John Major (Adam).
• Putin ousted and/or die. (Andrea)
• Arsenal win the League. (Andrea)
• Trump finally faces some consequences (Andrea, Nova)
• Trump re-establishes dominance of Republican party. (Adam)

Resolutions

• Don’t waste time. (Adam)
• Start things earlier. (Nova)
• Screen time down to two hours a day. (Lyra)
• Read 24 books (half fiction, non-fiction – Adam), read 24 books (Nova), read 52 books (Lyra, Andrea)
• Improve my physical strength. (Andrea)
• Wake up and get up earlier throughout the week. (Lyra)
• Re-establish my daily meditation practice, start meditating. (Andrea, Lyra)
• Swim in the Ponds throughout the winter. (Andrea, Adam)
• Knit something in the round. (Nova)
• Explore Bristol more widely. (Nova)
• Going on more walks. (Lyra)
• Maths – 5, Science – 6/6; Geography – 7: History; English Lang – 8; English Lit – 8; Art -7; Textiles – 8; RS – 8. (Lyra)

January 1, 2023

Happy New Year or should I say Feliz Año Nuevo! (In recognition of my reaching level three of Spanish fundamentals – I’m into intermediate Spanish after that.)

A crappy night’s sleep was the main thing wrong with me this morning. I tried to fall back asleep again, but ended up listening to the last 90 minutes of audiobook, which was pretty exciting.

After a coffee, we set out to meet Eytan and Dina for a walk on the Heath. We’d thought our kids might come (as they had in years past), but they were all recuperating from their various nights out, and it was just the four of us.

Walked in pairs for pretty much all of a long ramble down to the bottom near Hampstead and around via Parliament Hill. I soon noticed that my chest was very tight – it was hard to draw a full breath when I exerted myself. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve had covid – maybe a  relatively mild bout due to my recent vaccine. I’ve also been hearing stories of acquaintances testing negative for the first week and then positive.

I walked with Dina who did most of the talking. She and Eytan have both lost parents relatively recently and it has surfaced family tensions in both cases. They are pretty upset with her sister and Eytan’s sister in particular, for the way they’ve conducted themselves, and I am now fully up to speed…

Home for a spot of lunch, after which we crashed out on the sofa for a two-hour nap. Nova was out seeing friends – Shira then Iris – so missed our traditional sausage and lentil New Year’s supper. Watched Everything, Everywhere, All At Once, which I really enjoyed. I’d tried watching it on the plane home from Vancouver which was a complete washout, what with the subtitles, weird storyline and time travel. I dozed off for five minutes and hadn’t the faintest idea what was going on.

Oscar nominations are looming, and apparently the women’s field this year is particularly strong. Michelle Yeoh should definitely be in contention with this. She would be first Asian woman to win a best actress Oscar (and possibly the first to be nominated?)