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The bump
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Henry Moore
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Snow falling on London
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Snow leopard
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Frea and Jane
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Relaxing at the Crazy Bear
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Reading her Junie B Jones book
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February 28, 2007Last day of the pregnancy, one way or another… Freddy and Beulah came round to babysit in the evening and Adam took me out to dinner at an Indian restaurant in Hampstead. I wasn’t trying that “have a curry to bring on labour” advice — I’ve just found that Indian/Thai restaurants have the best menus for me when I’m pregnant. You can eat pretty much everything, and the food’s not too heavy, rich, or meaty. I won’t be updating until after I’m back home again — and they’re likely to keep me in for three or four days — but Adam will be in touch with people to let them know how it’s all gone… |
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February 27, 2007It strikes me how different my two pregnancies have been. I’ve had completely different symptoms and ailments this time:
It makes you wonder how different the two babies might be… There was a c-section story in the paper yesterday about how 20% of babies in the UK are now delivered surgically. They chose to attribute this to doctors being scared of malpractice suits where natural deliveries go wrong, which might be a factor, although I thought that the massive increase in IVF pregnancies (and thus multiple births), significant rise in obesity (which complicates pregnancy) and rising age of first time mothers must be pretty significant as well. At least that didn’t trot out that offensive line about mother who are “too posh to push”. |
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February 26, 2007Had my antenatal appointment this morning. Adam had to drive me as I am too crampy to walk or even take the bus. I’ve now officially gained forty pounds, though people are still commenting on how slim I look. I don’t have any puffiness in my face or ankles (though that’s probably more about water retention than weight gain), and I still have a waistline (at least from the front)…Saw the doctor I don’t like again. He had a medical student with him today who looked about fifteen, and Adam came in as well. He definitely behaved better, although when he said “You can get up now,” after examining my bump, I had to say, “Well, maybe you can come over here and help me…” Honestly, it can’t be the first time he’s encountered this situation… The only way for me to get off my back is to roll and push myself up with my arms, and there’s nowhere to roll on a narrow little stretcher. Dickhead… Had tea with Pasc this afternoon. I wanted to hear all the gossip from her weekend away. (One of her friends has had a three year marriage crisis that has just ended in the husband moving out for the second time, and she’d gone away with her and a few friends for a girly support weekend.) Adam and I went into the village for a coffee later. He pushed me up the path, then I tottered along Southwood Lane like an old granny. I had a caramafrappalatte or whatever they are called — a whipped cream, coffee, syrupy confection. I’ve been meaning to have one throughout the pregnancy (I doubt I’ll feel like one afterwards, once calories start counting again…;-)) <– (that’s a close bracket, not a double chin!) Iaid for it pretty heavily with heartburn afterward, but it was worth it… Kind of like indulging in a banana split like I used to as a kid… |
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February 25, 2007Paul (“The Digital Plumber”) came round to sort out the computers this morning. He’d recently upgraded my operating system and installed more memory, which was great, but left me unable to print…I can’t walk at all today without cramping up, and I think Paul thought he might have to drive me to the labour ward (Adam and Nova were off swimming)… Before he left, he helped me install the software for the little digital camera we bought at Christmas. It’s a Canon as well, and I wanted to make sure the new software would still work with our proper camera. Once he was finished, he connected the SLR to check everything was fine. The images that appeared were from last September, and I said, “Go to the end of the list to make sure it’s actually getting the right images,” completely forgetting that Adam had taken a bunch of nude shots of my bump the night before — it gave us both a laugh… Reorganised the upstairs toybox today, filling it with all the baby toys and kit we’ve dug out of the garage. I discussed it with Nova first, and we agreed that she can keep things in there that are safe for the baby and that she doesn’t mind if the baby uses, but anything she wants to keep safe, or that the baby could choke on, should be kept in her room. Made sausages with cabbage borlotti bean stew for dinner. Nova wasn’t that crazy about it, but she’s starting to appreciate that sometimes you have to eat things you don’t like that much… Once the baby’s here, I’d like Nova to pretty much eat with Adam and me, so I don’t end up making three separate meals. This will require some compromise on all sides — we’ll need to come up with a collection of recipes that all three of us are happy with, or at least ways of modifying/seasoning things for the adults that doesn’t take much effort. |
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February 24, 2007Nova was keen to get us out of bed first thing to play art school. Adam joined in this time — today’s theme was underwater pictures: mermaids, turtles, giant clams, that sort of thing…We had a talk about our favourite things to do:
I’m pretty much bedridden (or at least sofa ridden with the false labour pains today). I can’t stay on my feet for more than two minutes before I’m doubled over by cramps. I think it must be the pressure the baby exerts on my cervix when I’m upright. Quite a bore… Adam took charge of Nova in the afternoon — a trip to Waitrose, cycling on the parade ground, making pink lemonade, then off to the village for a haircut. My friend Pat Boeker called out of the blue this evening. He’s been offered a job near Birmingham (he’s a salesman for Finning) and may be over here with his wife in early April to explore the offer. It’s been a few years since I’ve talked to him, but he’s one of my oldest friends. We met in the registration line for first year engineering (he tried to cut in front of me and I called him on it). We started talking, and when he found out I lived in Totem Park like he did, he said, “I thought I knew all the bunnies in Totem Park.” In spite of this start, we ended up sharing a locker, and became very close friends. We’ve been housemates more than once over the years, and gone on cycling, sailing and hiking trips together. It was great to hear from him, and it felt like we’d last talked three weeks — not three years — ago. It would be great if they end up moving over here, but fun to catch up for a few days in London either way… |
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February 23, 2007Six hours sleep — still better than average, and best of all four of those hours were unbroken… It’s all good training for when the baby arrives I guess…It seems like all I do is bang on about how much sleep I’m not getting. I’ve always prided myself on not needing much sleep, but guess I have my limits. I can see why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture… Nova and I played a game she calls art class this afternoon. She decides the theme for the picture and we both have a go. Today it was jungle pictures. We chat away as we work, and if I notice something good in her picture like the way she’s done her monkey, I’ll copy it and vice versa. Nova really enjoys it, and we generally have a good chat and a laugh doing it. |
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February 22, 2007Eight hours sleep… What a rare treat, though it hasn’t made much of a dent in my overall sleep deficit… I noticed Nova scratching her head again this morning, and was just giving her an exploratory comb through when Jane phoned to say that Elsie had nits. We’ll do the conditioner thing tomorrow. Adam and Nova over to Ettas in the afternoon to visit their respective friends. Also, Adam is doing some work on Sarah’s website. I beached myself on the sofa and watched Bad Day at Black Rock. What a great film — Spencer Tracy is terrific in it… I’ve got a bedtime ritual I follow to try and secure a half decent sleep:
I think the hugging pillow is a real breakthrough, and seems to stave off the hip pain that wakes me up every couple of hours, and obliges me to lurch to my other side, rearrange the pillows, reset the radio timer etc… Evelyn’s mum Christine has had a 7lb baby girl this afternoon by c-section! Mother and baby well as they say… |
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February 21, 2007Wretched night’s sleep… 4 hours maximum… |
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February 20, 2007I was woken by Nova at 3am, who was standing by the bed with a steaming bowl of vomit… I seem to have caught her cold as well, which I could definitely do without. A wracking cough and a c-section do not go together…Adam spoke to the GP about me at Nova’s appointment yesterday — as long as I don’t run a fever and don’t get a productive cough it shouldn’t be a risk to the pregnancy. Last week, I’d promised to take Nova to Toys ‘R’ Us on Tuesday so she could buy a toy with her pocket money she’d saved. It was the last thing I felt like doing, but I hate not keeping promises to her, so we ventured out. I felt like death, but tried to make it fun for her, and give her time to choose which toy she wanted. At one point I felt so rotten I slumped down on a pile of floor mats while she had an explore. I was seeing those sparkly stars, and closed my eyes, hoping not to pass out. How can we possibly get home, I wondered? Should I call a taxi? See if Rob and Jemima could come to get us and one of them drive our car home? I felt a bit better back in the fresh air, and managed to drive us home okay. Hit the couch for an hour while Nova played with her new Puppies in my Pocket toy she’d chosen. As soon as Simonia arrived I took to my bed. I didn’t get up until Adam returned from work and had the Shrove Tuesday pancakes on the table. Early night… |
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February 19, 2007Half term this week… I also had an appointment at the GPs this afternoon with the midwife. She didn’t think the baby was too big. The midwife agrees that the baby could come at any time, as it is fully engaged. You don’t need anyone to tell you that — when a baby’s engaged you know about it… Also, they feel around between your legs for the baby’s head, and they never did that with Nova. It occurs to me that I’ve always naively pictured the birth canal as about eight inches long, and the baby journeying down a kind of tunnel. When actually it’s likely less than an inch from my cervix to the big wide world (at the moment). I can see the point of pelvic floor exercises for the first time… Nova is back on antibiotics — a two week course this time. After she’s fully recovered from this infection, she’s scheduled for achest x-ray to rule out TB(!). It seems unlikely to me, but apparently the part of her lung where the pneumonia occurs is associated with TB… |
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February 17, 2007Adam was out at a 50th birthday at The Wrestlers this evening. I’d accepted the invitation originally, but was too exhausted to consider it. Plus we hadn’t arranged a babysitter…He claimed he wouldn’t be late, so I waited up, not wanting to have my sleep disturbed any more than necessary. Had to call and roust him out of the pub at about 1am… To his credit, he was home in about fifteen minutes, slurring his words and insisting that his strategy of drinking only whisky was why he was in such good shape…;-) I’d been asleep about two hours when Nova came in complaining of earache. I gave her a dose of painkillers, and dug out the Italian eardrops I’d bought in Sicily, and even managed to translate the Italian leaflet to determine how much to give her. Read her a chapter of her Ramona book before settling her in our bed. It was impossible to settle comfortably with the three of us, and at 4am I opted for the couch. Took the opportunity to call Greg and Wendy before the set off for their holiday in Hawaii tomorrow… |
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February 16, 2007I had such a rotten night’s sleep I went straight back to bed after Nova went to school at slept until 2:15. This left it a bit late to make the meringues I told Nova I’d make for the class bake sale. I sent up a tray of brownies and a few butterscotch oat crunchies instead.Waddled up at 3:30 and helped out on the stand. I was surprised to see that a number of mums had bought Sarah Lee Swiss roll and other nasty industrial baked goods. I know it’s a fundraising exercise but seems a bit cynical to be selling slices of store bought swiss roll for 40p a pop. Went along to watch Nova’s swimming lesson this evening. Ros, the teacher, seems really good, and had Nova diving off the side, swimming through hoops, and doing rudimentary front crawl and breast stroke. I think it’s helpful to do the lessons in a pool where she can actually stand up — it seems to increase her confidence not to have to cling to your arm or the side of the pool the whole time. |
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February 14, 2007Happy Valentine’s Day, all!
Sounds pretty challenging for a five year old. I was still hanging around at home watching Mr Dress-Up when I was Nova’s age (although I was a fluent reader by the time I started school)… Adam cooked a beautiful Valentine’s dinner this evening: monkfish tails wrapped in proscuitto stuffed with sundried tomatoes and basil; roast sweet potato and rocket salad, followed my hot melting chocolate puddings. It was wonderful, and the first time he’s ever cooked me a romantic meal… |
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February 12, 2007Nova told me at breakfast this morning that she hates playing Scooby Doo with Evelyn because “she always gets to be Daphne, and I have to be Velma.” It made me laugh because I used to have this same problem when I played Scooby Doo with Jeraldine Drexel. Though the main game that we played was “Harold and the Queen of Sheba”. Jeraldine of course was the Queen, wrapped in her mother’s frilly bathrobe and sporting a towel turban on her head. I was always Harold, and required to rescue her from burning buildings, gangs of pirates etc, carry her in my arms from her bedroom to the landing and declare my undying love.(Today would be Jeraldine’s 43 birthday. The last news I had of her — some years ago now — she’d changed her name to Michelle, married a truck driver from Texas, and started a family down there…) Waddled down to the Whittington for my weekly checkup. I saw the weenie who did the brain scan when the baby did that strange leap. His bedside manner hasn’t improved since our last encounter. After listening to the baby’s heartbeat with the sonicaid, he left me stranded on my back like a great beetle and wandered off to wash his hands. I had to call him back to help me up off the stretcher. Went for dinner at Rani with Lynn and Alan. Nice meal, but I drank far too much (water) which often happens with Indian food, and was dreadfully uncomfortable for the rest of the evening. |
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February 11, 2007Adam made muffins this morning, then took Nova for a swim, so I had a quiet morning at home. The contractions have abated, which is good…In the afternoon we switched over. Adam worked in the flat while Nova and I hung out upstairs. We made a list of all the things we wanted to do:
and managed to get through it all. She made the pink lemonade completely on her own, and is a dab hand at pinching wontons shut. |
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February 10, 2007Spent much of the day in what I assume is false labour. I couldn’t spend more than ten minutes on my feet before uncomfortable contractions forced me back to the sofa. It took me four attempts to get lunch on the table. “Oh, you frustrating mummy!” Nova complained when she returned from Waitrose and lunch wasn’t ready.I’m not sure this baby’s going to wait around for the 1 March C-section… Adam and I sorted through our boxes of cassette tapes this evening and got rid of most of them. We kept only irreplacable sentimental compilations, and made a list of the ones we’d quite like to replace on CD, or digitally, when we get the chance. We don’t even own a cassette player anymore, but those teenage compilation tapes are a little piece of your personal history. It used to be a thing guys did when they liked you — they’d make you a tape of all the cool/interesting/obscure/imported music they were into. Kind of a mating ritual I suppose… |
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February 9, 2007School cancelled today. Nova was pleased of course, but as all the snow had melted it was completely unnecessary…Took Nova to the cinema after lunch to see Charlotte’s Web. It was great and we both loved it. Dad bought the book for Nova last summer and she seems to have committed it to memory, as she kept informing me what was going to happen next or where they’d deviated slightly from the original text. I’d bought the smallest (enormous) popcorn and coke, which she munched her was through remorselessly, not stopping until there were only a few unpopped kernels rattling round the bottom. I had to take to my bed after all that exertion, and Adam took Nova to her swimming lesson. He reports that she’s now “diving” off the side (from a sitting position) and doing rudimentary front crawl and breaststroke. The swimming teacher asked if Nova had a traumatic birth as one shoulder is quite different to the other. It reminded me that a few months after she was born I noticed that one of her shoulders sat and moved differently, and worried that I may have injured her getting her dressed. I remember asking mum about it, but don’t know if I ever wrote about it here. I’d forgotten all about it, so it’s interesting that it’s still manifesting itself… |
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February 8, 2007Woke up to discover a foot of snow had fallen. Poor Adam had to head into town this morning — that’s sure to be an ordeal, as the lightest skiff of snow generally brings all UK transport to a halt…I made Nova some chicken bouillon with pasta for her lunch box, then shuffled cautiously to school with her. Rob solicitously walked me home and escorted me down the snowy path. Actually I think I was surer on my feet than he was, with his smooth soled town shoes. Had a quiet day around home. I made some tomato soup for lunch and a fish pie for dinner. Set off at 3:15 to pick up Nova from school and take her to ballet. It was slipperier underfoot where the snow was compacted and slushy as well. It took me a while, and there were only three kids left in the classroom when I arrived. I felt a bit bad until Nova told me that between the snowfall and the vomiting bug currently sweeping the school there were 16 children absent from her class today. They’ve decided to cancel school tomorrow in case the playground is icy. As a Canadian, it makes me laugh… Nova was unsteadier on her feet that I was, and we must have been a sight inching our way along North Hill to Pond Square. I wrestled her out of her many layers and wet tights and into her ballet kit, then slumped in the foyer for 45m until class was finished. Just stuck her coat and wet boots over her ballet clothes and headed home. I made her a hot chocolate to warm up with while the fish pie cooked. We ate together and I put the leftovers aside for Adam. Watched Race with the Devil tonight. It’s a Peter Fonda-Loretta Swit movie I saw in the cinema as a youngster, and it made quite an impression on me. I’ve kept an eye out for it for years… Two couples on a motorhome holiday (how 70s!) accidentally witness a satanic sacrifice. They are then pursued across back country Texas by murderous cult members. I think the part that impressed me the most was that the satanists caught them in the end. It’s very dated now, but still reasonably entertaining… |
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February 7, 2007Adam I went for lunch at a great cheap Korean place in Golder’s Green before going to see the flat. Now that the offer’s been accepted, I’m keen to see it. Also, there’s been an issue about two other realtors that it’s listed with not taking it off the market, and I thought the sight of me arriving panting on their doorstep with my enormous tummy might make them think twice about pulling a fast one on us…I can see why Adam is keen on it. It definitely needs some work, but I think that’s a good thing. I’ve got a head full of ideas, and once we have the survey done if it’s still going ahead, we’ll have our architect friend Sarah take a look at it to see what is possible without too much time/money. Tonight was In-Out club — Alicia had organised a meal at Kalendar at the bottom of West Hill. My resolve to attend was wavering, but Adam more or less pushed me out the door. I’m glad he did — a lot of people had cancelled at the last minute, which isn’t very nice for Alicia… It was a pretty good time — steak and chips for all four of us, and a couple of shared desserts, plus wine. Also, I’m now much better informed on: Yellow class minutiae (Nova’s in Red class); London spas (one of the women’s husbands has just launched a spa website called Spagasm…); shopping for Prada (real and fake); and the north London ladies golf scene. Home about 11pm. |
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February 6, 2007Slow day today… I know by the kind of night I have how much I’ll be able to manage, and today it’s not a lot…Adam took Nova to the doctor to get her heart murmur checked — it all seems okay. I started packing my hospital bag, but needed regular rests, and only got half way done. They expect you to bring a surprising amount of stuff — for example, the hospital won’t provide nappies or sanitary pads for post natal bleeding, which seems primitive to me. Round to Pasc’s for lunch. Sid was home with some sort of virus that is decimating the school. Apparently, one class had 17 students off yesterday. Nova had a friend home to play. Simonia was here, so I hung out in my bedroom, sorting through papers, and fielding occasional visits from the girls for lipstick, or help fastening an outfit. I staggered to the village at one point to pick up Simonia’s money and buy a few groceries. The tendons that attach my legs to my body twang like guitar strings when I walk, which is uncomfortable. Found myself eyeing up people’s doorsteps as potential resting spots. Adam was out this evening at the school governor hustings — our friend Pete is standing, and Adam was interested to hear his speech, and provide moral support if needed. There are five people standing for two places, so he has a pretty good chance. |
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February 5, 2007Dropped Nova off at school, then had a quick coffee with a couple of mums before heading down the hill to my antenatal appointment. The consultant and I agreed on a C-section of March 1 — I go into labour before then I’ll give it a try. What I don’t want is a repeat of Nova’s birth — going so overdue then spending almost thirty hours failing to induce a nine pound baby. So 24 more days at the most…According to the doctor, the baby is already engaged, which was something Nova and I never managed. It’s sitting pretty low as well, which makes breathing and eating a bit easier, but puts more strain on my stomach muscles and the ligaments in my hips and thighs. Went to Brent Cross in the afternoon to pick up some of the missing bits, mostly things for my hospital bag: breast pads, nipple cream, front opening nighties, you get the idea… It was pretty knackering and I needed a rest when I got home. I started watching Scenes from a Marriage, by Ingmar Bergman. I’ve only ever seen that black and white film of his where death goes around playing chess with people, and this is very different. It’s easy to see where Woody Allen gets his inspiration. Also Liv Ullman is an amazing actress, something I’d never realised. The film is about three hours long, so I’m going to tackle it in installments. Oh, our offer on the flat has been verbally accepted, so that’s exciting… |
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February 4, 2007I had a dreadful night’s sleep, waking every hour from 1am onwards, usually because whichever hip I was lying on was aching, but once because my calf completely seized up with cramp. On the up side, I did get to hear some interesting stuff on the World Service. In particular, there was a story on a woman’s movement in India, a kind of “take back the streets” thing. Groups of women gather in locations that men usually frequent and all stare at passing men, to give them a taste of their own medicine. They interviewed a few men who said that it was extremely unsettling to be stared at like that, and that it made them question their own behaviour.Jules and Mary called this morning, and were stunned to hear of the imminent arrival. Mary was actually speechless, which isn’t something that happens often… We were meant to have Eugene and Louise round for lunch today, but there was a communication breakdown. This was discovered after Adam went to Golder’s Green to buy eighteen bagels. At least they freeze well… It meant he could take Nova swimming before we sat down to a big bagel brunch. Spent the afternoon watching The Chronicles of Narnia. I thought it might be a bit scary for Nova but she was okay, at least during the parts I stayed awake for. Had the potato soup we’d planned to have with lunch for our dinner. Well, Adam and Nova did. My hip ligaments were giving me so much grief, I opted for a bath instead which seemed to help. I pretty much fill the entire bathtub now. There’s only room for a few cups of water, but it still must take some of the weight off and relaes sore muscles. I felt much better for it… |
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February 3, 2007The flat purchasing adventure continues… Nova and I had quite a lazy day of it. I roused myself to cook a nice family dinner — chicken baked with basil and lemon, mashed potato and green beans, with roasted rhubarb and frozen yogurt for dessert. |
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February 2, 2007Nova and I made mini pink meringues from her fairy cookbook this afternoon. I’ve only tried making meringues once before, and they were a complete washout, so I was surprised at how well these ones turned out — light, delicious, chewy… The cookbook was a present from Shenda when she visited last summer, and was a big hit with Nova — full of recipes for butterfly fairies cakes, marzipan toadstools and the like… |
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February 1, 2007Took it easy today, to make up for yesterday’s overactivity… Adam was feeling well enough to do the school run, which was good. Mooched around in my pajamas until 11am, doing bits of this and that…We’ve decided to put an offer in on the flat in Archway. There’s a fair amount of interest in it, so I don’t know how likely it is we’ll get it. The things Adam liked about it were:
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