August 2015

August 31, 2015

Slept straight through until almost 10am, when Lyra came in. I felt like I was dragging myself through treacle to wake up. “Those pills are pretty potent for an over the counter sleep aid,” I thought, until I remembered that I would have jetlag on top of it.I wanted nothing more than to sink back to sleep, but knew that wouldn’t help me get back on track. After a cup of coffee I got myself up and about. It was a bit late to be thinking about breakfast, so I had a look in the fridge to see what I could pull together for lunch. Looks like they’ve been living rather hand to mouth since getting home. Eventually found the fixings to make a pot of tomato soup and some little toasted open sandwiches.

Nova is taking Lyra to see “Hetty Feather” in my place. I just don’t have the energy or right frame of mind for a theatre outing with a group of Lyra’s friends and their mums.

Had a nap instead, then did some work getting the August budget and some paperwork in order. Made a quick potato pea curry for dinner, which we ate with basmati rice in front of the next episode of British Bake-Off.

We’ve decided that we’ll make the first bake from each show as we watch along. We’re a few weeks behind, so not sure how I’ll play that, but Lyra and I will be making a madeira cake tomorrow. While the contestants garnished theirs with candied citrus peel, my recipe is simpler with just caster sugar sprinkled on the top before it goes into the oven.

August 30, 2015

Managed to get a decent amount of sleep — at least for a night spent on a plane… I woke feeling thirsty a couple of times (I was probably catching flies while I slept) but fell right back to sleep again.Woke up properly in time for breakfast, though I shouldn’t have bothered — it was pretty crappy, and nowhere near as good as the food on the outbound flight.

Our flight arrived in London a bit early, but fifteen minutes in a holding pattern meant we landed right on schedule. Tried the e-passport line, which actually seemed slower than the regular one. Plus it rejected me anyway, and I had to queue to see an officer. Apparently my glasses messed things up…

I’ve ended up borrowing a suitcase of dad’s, which is larger than the little carry-on I flew out with it. Didn’t recognise it when it went past me, but managed to chase it down.

Adam was waiting when I emerged, and within minutes we were in the car and heading home. The English weather looks predictably lousy, not that it was any great shakes in Canada either — summer doesn’t linger at these latitudes…

The girls were waiting at the door with a handmade sign, looking very excited to see me. Little Lyra had ventured up to the village and bought me flowers with her pocket money. They’d even cleaned up their room in my honour.

Settled down with a cup of tea and watched the first episode of the British Bake Off. We want to be all caught up before school starts — the show is surprising popular with the younger set.

After showing me her make-up stash from interning at Beauty Mart last week, Nova headed off for a sleepover at Evies. Lyra went out to play with Lily and Nina, and I had a long bath, my first in a month…

Adam cooked dinner — potato frittata, steamed asparagus and a glass of white wine, after which we finished True Detective — we’d had the last two episodes recorded and waiting.

I was wide awake when we finally went to bed at 1am. Took a full little blue pill and felt myself getting drowsy within fifteen minutes…

August 29, 2015

It had gone 9am by the time I woke up this morning…
Wade thinks I’ve looked noticeably less stressed since the executorship mantle passed from my shoulders. Could be something to that…Wade, on the other hand, is feeling rather more stressed… even though he’s not going to be the executor. Now that I’m renouncing, we won’t have an executor. Once probate is granted, he will be the adminstrator, with the responsibility for distributing the estate.

As it happens, I’ve done most of what could be done before probate. I was always going to leave things like keeping on top of bills, and sorting out the gun collection to him.

Wade made us a fried egg on toast for breakfast. Finished off my packing, filed the rest of dad’s mail, sorted through the closet (no ashes), and went through the current papers with Wade before it was time to leave for the airport.

Flying is so hassle-free compared to Europe — check-in took about five minutes. There was plenty of time for a coffee before I needed to go through security.

As soon as we sat down, the captain warned us that the flight was going to be bumpy. Apparently, there was a horrible storm front moving into BC. Got that right — the plane was bucking and plunging the whole way, and rocking from side to side as well. Ended up holding hands much of the way with the guy sitting next to me, which was an ice breaker.

I was happy to get back on the ground again. I had a four hour wait between flights. After collecting my bag, I ate a surprisingly good dinner at Wendys. After clearing passport control, I did a bit of duty-free shopping. There was a good deal on Crown Royal, and I picked up Adam’s cologne as well.

I was sitting in Milestones nursing a bloody Caesar, when I heard them calling my PG travel companion by name over the tannoy. He was so late for his connecting leg to New Zealand that they were threatening to remove his bags from the plane. I wonder what was up with that? Maybe he had cold feet about getting on another plane after our flight from hell? From what I could see out the window, the weather was still pretty stormy…

The plane left right on schedule. I was assigned an aisle seat in the middle section and close to the back. I was sitting with a Russian family of three, so at least they always got out on their aisle seat, leaving me undisturbed.

There was a lot of turbulence, but nothing like the previous flight. I would have been pretty comfortable if I hadn’t been sitting behind a woman who fully reclined her seat the minute the seatbelt sign went off. The damn thing was actually resting on my knees. Made sure I gave her a good thump in the back whenever I moved my legs or extracted something from my seat pocket.

The dinner they served was kind of crap — the flight over must have been an anomaly. There still wasn’t a single film I was willing to watch. Tuned in to Beethoven’s complete symphonies, took half of one of Wade’s little blue sleeping pills and conked out…

August 28, 2015

I’ve been trying to decide whether to go home tomorrow. I don’t feel quite ready to leave, but I’ve come to the end of things I can do, especially now that the estate is in limbo. In the end, I called Adam so he could get onto BA and confirm my flight…If Wade was sure he was going to go to Kelowna to clear the locker our next week, I’d probably stick around for that, but he needs to see arrange staffing for the store, which might be impossible…

Wade and I headed down to Scotia Bank so I could sign some papers, then over to lawyers where I signed a form renouncing the executorship. Strictly speaking you aren’t able to renounce if you’ve done anything in the capacity of executor, which is known as “intermeddling”.

Patrick had highlighted some information on the definition of intermeddling for me. It sounds like I could argue that I haven’t, in that I haven’t done anything that wasn’t essential, sold anything, or made decisions that influenced the value of the assets. I suppose there’s still a risk I actually have intermeddled, but I can’t see who else is going to care if all the beneficiaries are in agreement.

Met John and Jackie at the Achilion for lunch — a longtime favourite place of mine. Once again, I was struck by the leisurely Canadian pace of life. John ordered a bottle of retsina straight off, and some calamari when the waitress brought the wine. We’d pretty much polished off the bottle before she returned to take our order. That said, the food turned up pretty fast (and was as delicious as I’d remembered) once we’d ordered.

Spent an hour at Race Trac having a quick look through the boxes dad has stored there. I’d really like to find his family ashes — he always said that he had his dad, mum and brother Rich’s ashes stored in his closet. And of course, there are the rest of mum’s ashes as well.

No joy, but did find his copy of the family cookbook as well as the copy of the Divine Comedy that mom told me she read to me when I was three years old. I responded by embellishing a number of the Doré illustrations with some colourings of my own…;-)

Went round to Greg and Wendy’s for dinner tonight. Wade drove me over so I’d be able to drink — plus he wanted to see the renovations they’ve made to the house. The kitchen, living room and bathrooms have been completely remodeled and are looking beautiful.

Greg made a delicious pork roast with squash, potatoes and corn, followed by apple pie for dessert — a classic North American meal. The corn on the cob in Europe is nowhere near as tasty. Europeans haven’t taken to corn the way we have, and apparently still considered it as animal feed. The way their corn tastes, I can’t say I blame them…

Landyn drove me home afterwards in his souped-up jeep — it’s customised for off-roading and jacked up so high you have to raise your foot as high as your waist to climb into the thing.

Stayed up for a bit Wade and Gale, and was persuaded to have a rye and coke. I could get to like that drink…;-)

August 27, 2015

Set the alarm for 7am, and aside from a brief wake up at 2am I was able to sleep through until then.After I’d showered and eaten some breakfast, I spent most of the day on paperwork. Dad has kept every letter, bank statement and flyer that he has ever received. This is good in some ways, but unfortunately he has stuffed them in boxes and bags all over his bedroom. I’ve been steadily gathering them together and sorting them, and today I had a real burst on filing bank statements, tax assessments and so on.

Took a little break for lunch, finishing off some kraft dinner that Liam had made for himself and Isobel. Haven’t eaten that stuff in about twenty years…

Having discussed it with all my brothers, we’ve decided that I’ll renounce the executor role and Wade will apply to be the administrator after probate is granted. Patrick is going to try to have the forms ready for us to sign tomorrow.

Grilled cheese and Campbell’s tomato soup for dinner — along with a couple of bottles of Stella…

I need to decide whether to stay on a little longer or to go home on the ticket I’ve booked for Saturday. If Wade wants to drive to Kelowna to empty the storage locker, or if I need to drive the lease car back to Kelowna Motors, I’d stick around another week maybe, but otherwise I might as well go home and come back in a couple of months to sort through stuff…

August 26, 2015

Felt pretty rough this morning. Last night was the first time I’ve drank too much since we were in Vancouver. Since dad died, I’ve been making sure I don’t…Shared an enormous peach with Isobel for breakfast, then got started on dealing with the lease car. The finance company in Ontario were pretty cagey with me. The guy I spoke to wouldn’t give me his last name or a direct number. I emailed them a copy of the death certificate and will, and asked for confirmation but they never got back to me.

It’s not a good situation. I don’t really understand it (and it doesn’t help that I can’t find his contract), but it sounds like we owe the full amount of the four-year contract dad signed, and need to sell the car somehow (through Kelowna Motors or privately), then pay the difference.

Also spoke to the payday loan people. They are very pleasant on the phone, but the PG woman doesn’t seem to know what happens in a situation like this, so in spite of calling three times, that is still in limbo…

Met Carolyn for lunch at a little Persian restaurant next to Parkwood Mall. It was good to see her. Sounds like they had a lovely time in London, and she thought the house was looking well cared for, which is good. She was very sympathetic about the situation, and offered any help she could give.

Stopped by Race Trac on the way home to look at the stuff dad has in storage there. There’s lots of it, much of which will be junk, but all of which needs going through…

The lawyer emailed saying that it should still be possible for me to resign as executor, which would make settling the estate more straightforward. All the beneficiaries would have to agree: that I should step down, on which of them should be appointed administrator, and that I hadn’t been doing it wrong. We’d have to pay some money and apply to the court, and the estate would be in limbo (ie, nothing could happen) while it was being settled.

Made a Caesar salad for dinner, and Wade grilled some chicken. No drinking this evening, and in bed before 11pm…

August 25, 2015

Another restless night in spite of taking my melatonin. At least I slept in until after 9am. Wade and Gale had both left for work by the time I got up, and the kids were sprawled on the sofas with their electronic babysitters.Fixed myself some breakfast, then got started again. My focus this morning was the storage locker. They were really nice, and remember dad. They’ve agreed to take a photo of the contents of the locker and email it to us, and have also put a note on his file to be aware that we won’t be paying the bill, but will just turn up to collect the stuff sometime soon.

Made a call to dad’s friend Ron Scondo to ask about the storage locker. Worryingly, he seems to think that dad had a locker in a different location to the one I have the paperwork for. I can only hope he used to have another one has since cleared it out.

Had a worrying phone call with Kelowna Motors. It sounds like the horror stories I’ve been reading about car lease agreements are true, and dying is not considered a valid reason for breaking them. Our best option is to find some other sucker willing to take on the lease…

Talked to Wendy about the tax implications of having an out-of-country executor for the estate. She’s contacted Revenue Canada, and basically the news is not good. Once the estate is probated, it’s entirely possible it will be considered British property, and taxed both in Britain and in Canada when I divide it. It will also be more complicated for me to sell the house as a “foreigner”.

Adam’s been looking into it too, and the problem seems to be with the Canadian government. It is one of the few countries that goes by residency instead of nationality in these matters. Apparently, the British revenue service does sometimes take a common sense view of these things, determining that when a Canadian has died, leaving his Canadian holdings to his Canadian children (one of whom happens to be living in the UK), Britain doesn’t have anything to do with it, aside from taxing whatever income I inherit.

Had an afternoon meeting with lawyer, after which I spent an hour mooching around Books and Company. Drove home past our old house, which is looking depressingly run down. Felt no attachment to it whatsoever…

Gale made ribs for dinner, with mashed potato and salad. Apparently, they’re Isobel’s favourite. As Liam’s on a sleepover, she got to eat his share. (Wade’s kids are such light eaters that both shares put together wouldn’t have been enough to satisfy our Lyra…)

Cathy Hodgson called and we had a long chat. She’s another “orphan” after losing her dad last year. One of the few friends whose lost either parent — though she is about ten years older than I am.

Stayed up too late talking and drinking red wine — it had gone midnight by the time we went to bed…

August 24, 2015

Slept pretty well in Isobel’s little bed, though I did wake a few times. I think I heard some noise around the time David’s family left, but went straight back to sleep again…Uncle Bernard’s leaving today as well. His flight is after lunch, but he was all packed up with plenty of time. There was a bit of excitement when he thought he’d misplaced his car keys, but after helping him search he mentioned that he hadn’t actually driven to the airport. I imagine they’re still at home…

I had a 10:30am appointment at Scotia Bank in town to notify them of dad’s death, and freeze remaining bank accounts. Decided to take the new (to me) Cameron Street bridge, and managed to get completely messed up.

It seems to me that they’ve overcomplicated the junction, but at any rate I ended up on River Road. Was nearly at the Fraser River crossing by the time I got myself turned around…

I was twenty minutes late for my appointment, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. It’s not like there’s ever much going on anywhere I visit. I’m so used to to population pressures of a big city — Prince George seems like a ghost town in comparison.

Dad has the princely sum of $98 in his investment account, as well as a savings account with next to nothing in it. His bank book said there should be $20, but apparently it was taken out in Kelowna minutes after being deposited in Prince George. The bank clerk found that puzzling, but it’s no mystery to me. He was obviously using it to give money to Brenda, who must be a card holder as well…

Got back just in time to see Bernard off. It’s been really nice having him here. It’s funny the way that has all worked out…

Tried to contact the Asher Place people about dad’s investment, but they gave me the runaround. Actually, they pretended I’d dialled a wrong number, then refused to answer the phone for the rest of the afternoon. Trust dad to find such a bunch of crooks to hand $10,000 to…

Wade and I went through dad’s guns this evening, identifying and roughly pricing them using the internet. There’s no doubt he sunk a lot of money into them, but getting that money out of someone else is a whole different matter. Wade’s going to speak to Ken Bergestad about it, which is a good idea.

Made a good start on listing the assets for the lawyer, using the form they’d emailed me. There’s not all that much aside from the house and guns. There’s a Wedgewood teapot that could be worth a couple of hundred dollars, a humidor, his old music box, which seems to have woodworm. There should also be a mantel clock somewhere — maybe in the storage locker?

August 23, 2015

Yet another good night — I’m so thankful when that happens. The days are tough enough without trying to get through them on a couple of hours’ sleep…Jackie brought me breakfast in bed, which was a treat, though once both girls crammed in with me it wasn’t quite so special…;-) Didn’t need to eat much anyway, as we were meeting Margo and Aaron for breakfast at the White Spot.

As family restaurants go, I’m a fan of the White Spot, which has a consistently good standard of food and service. Our meals took a while to arrive, but then everything in BC seems slow to us. Londoners live life at a different pace. The first time someone crossed the street in front of our car, I thought they’d been injured, they were moving so slowly…

We drove straight from the White Spot to the Red Robin just three blocks up the road. David and Denise had booked a big table for a family lunch. There were seventeen of us in the end, once Paul, Greg and Wendy joined us.

Stayed until it was time for Adam and the girls to leave for to the airport. Swung by the McLaughlins to collect our bags, and John ended up driving us. We’d cut it a bit fine, but there were no problems checking in. There was no only one other person waiting, and it took about three minutes.

When I got back to Wade’s he and Uncle Bernard were dozing in front of the baseball game. Bernard is a big fan of the Blue Jays. Had leftover food from the service for dinner. David and Den headed off to say their goodbyes to John and Jackie, leaving the kids with us. To be honest, their DS screens did most of the babysitting…

I was planning to sleep on the sofa this evening, but Isobel kindly gave me her bed and bunked up with Liam…

August 22, 2015

Didn’t feel too bad this morning considering how much I drank. Actually it was one of those evenings where I put my energies into not drinking. Unlike Adam, who’s feeling pretty terrible, after staying up hitting the whisky with John until 3am…Jackie made some really nice wholewheat banana pancakes for breakfast. Honestly, must feel like they are running a B&B at the moment — and a very nice one it is too.

We were all showered, dressed, and in the car by 12pm. I feel a little strange dressed in someone else’s clothes, but I really appreciate that both Gale and Denise took the trouble to find options for me to wear. I’ve ended up going with a smart suit that had belonged to Gale’s mum.

I haven’t been to the gun club in years, but had no trouble finding it. It looks just the way I remembered it. Even the smell seemed like something I already knew.

David and Denise were certainly on top of things. They’d set up a little display of photographs and trophies, hung dad’s shooting jacket on on a chair, and his hats on the rack of antlers over the mantle. They’d set up the PA system and telly with the slide show (working!), had chairs set out, and were already arranging trays of food for after the service.

The official shooters were there already, and I had a chance to chat with Don and Keith (president of the club), before guests started arriving. David had cranked some of dad’s favourite arias on the sound system while the guests were arriving — more than likely the first time opera has ever been heard between those walls.

While I didn’t know everyone, I was very touched to see Mrs Neilsen, Mrs Furlan, Mrs Vukovic, the Comishs, Patty Lunden, Bob Phillips and Bob Wall. Drew, Margo and Aaron made the journey, as did Wendy’s sister Gail and her husband Rob.

Wade’s best friends Bryan, Jeremy and Jamie travelled to be there too. Unfortunately Landyn pulled a muscle in his back last night, and can barely move, so he wasn’t able to make it.

When it was time to begin the service, Adam acted as the “celebrant”, the way Josanne did for mum. He said a few words framing the event, then spoke about dad. David went next, delivering a lovely, polished eulogy.

Uncle Bernard went next, reciting some of John Knox’s “Oh Why Should the Spirit of Mortal Be Proud?”, which was Abraham Lincoln’s favourite poem (and their dad’s as well), followed by “High Flight”. Nova did Robert Lewis Stevenson’s “Requiem”, then in was my turn to speak.

Although my legs were shaking as I walked to the podium. My opening line– “Dad always said that anyone who dies with money in the bank is an asshole — well he certainly lived by those words.” — produced a few seconds of stunned silence, followed by a tide of laughter, which gave me a minute to calm my nerves.

I had some rough notes, but didn’t really stick to them — I guess I’d thought about it enough that I pretty much knew what I wanted to say. Still, I was pretty glad to sit down when I was done. Regardless of the occasion, public speaking will never be my strong point…

The service continued… Lyra and Isobel delivered a little limerick together, followed by Lyra reciting “With Rue My Heart is Laden”, which was one of dad’s favourites. Ceinwen sang “Ave Maria”, Keith Brain read messages he’d received from the trapshooting community, and David’s boys told one of Ed’s jokes: What did one wall say to the other wall? Let’s get plastered!

The only other person to speak was Elaine Comish, who said something about the good times she’d had with Ed and Fern in the Pisces Swim Club. I know there were plenty of good stories out there, but so many people feel uncomfortable about speaking in public, and shared them privately afterwards.

I particularly liked Geraldine Speed’s story from when dad was teaching in Likely. They needed some feathers for a class project, so at lunch break dad went and got his gun, headed down to the lake and blasted a duck. The class plucked it, used the feathers, and a kid took it home for dinner at the end of the school day.

When the service was over, we all headed out to the deck for the trapshooters salute. Four shooters instead of the usual five (the empty place representing dad) fired five shots at the first four positions, and a final shot from the fifth position, making 84 shots in total.

The shells that made a puff of smoke were the ones with dad’s ashes in them. I imagine the shooters must have felt a bit nervous — at any rate, they seemed to miss a fair few pigeons completely, and clipped a bunch more. I think dad would have easily won the round if he’d been blasting with them…

After they finished, Wade delivered the toast to dad, and we all raised a Coronita in his memory. Denise brought out the rolls and coldcuts, and the sun broke out for the first time all day.

It was a good event — I think dad would have really liked it, and you can’t hope for better than that…

Headed back to Wade’s to get changed. Stayed for a couple of beers, then headed back to the McLaughlins for the night. They’d ordered curry for dinner, after which the girls carried on with the Shrek thing.

John wasn’t drinking, and no one else had much enthusiasm for it either, which made for a reasonably early night. Could use one…

August 21, 2015

Gale took the final version of the programme to work and printed copies. She’s made a lovely photo collage as well, which can be put up around the gun club.When I transferred my slide show to a memory stick so I could play it on dad’s TV, a bunch of ghost files were somehow generated that prevented the pictures from playing on a continuous loop. Adam thought it was something to do with moving from a Mac to a PC environment, so I headed over to Greg and Wendy’s to use their PC. Seems to have fixed the problem…

I’ve been wondering whether the quantity of Coronitas David has bought for the toast will be enough alcohol. Our thinking was that people are coming for a service — not a party — and also that they will have driven out there, so need to be careful how much they drink.

But the last thing I’d want would be for any event thrown in dad’s name to run out of beer. So we bought 84 Stellas as our personal contribution to the event. If they aren’t drunk at the service, they certainly won’t go to waste around Wade’s in the days ahead…

It’s our turn to stay at the McLaughlins this evening. Just managed to shove all our belongings into Gale’s little red sportscar and headed down there in time for dinner.

Moira was there — I think she’s living with them at the moment — and Brian and his new wife dropped by. John had been “golfing” all afternoon and was well on his way by the time we arrived. Didn’t stop him from hitting the wine pretty hard while barbequing the lamb.

Personally, I was trying to avoiding drinking, as I still needed to think about what I wanted to say at the service tomorrow. Adam was John’s willing partner in crime this evening.

After dessert, the pair of the started in on the whisky. The girls headed downstairs for a Shrek marathon with Moira, and I took myself off before midnight. I did a bit of writing, but it was pretty rowdy in the livingroom and I wasn’t really able to concentrate…

August 20, 2015

Went round to Greg and Wendy’s after breakfast to apply for dad’s death benefit. Wendy knows exactly what needs to be done — plus as an accountant, she’s able to notarise documents, which is a time and money saver…Had a fraught hour trying to navigate the automated call directing at Service Canada so I could cancel dad’s CPP and Old Age Security. None of the choices applied to what I wanted to do, and I kept ending up in a dead end with no option but to return to the main menu.

When I gave up and called their general enquiries number, I finally got through to this little French prick who was so unhelpful — obnoxious actually — that I ended up yelling at him.

Adam took the phone away from me, and after another half hour or so of navigating/waiting, managed to connect with an actual person with the ability to do what was needed. The whole situation is fraught and painful enough without encountering that kind of grief…

I’ve been so focused on the banking crisis that I haven’t put much time into thinking about the service. Fortunately David and Den seem to have things well in hand, making arrangements with the gun club, organising food, hiring the sound system, and delivering some of dad’s ashes to Don Ellis so they can be loaded into shotgun shells.

I need to make time to think about what I want to say though, and pull together the slide show, and make some sort of programme or order or service, and decide what I’m going to wear…

Thinking about all of that made me want to start drinking beer… Wade and Adam ordered pizza for dinner, as no one felt like cooking. I spent the evening working on the slide show. We’ll either hire some kind of projector and run it from my computer, or haul his TV out there and show it on that. Whatever’s easier…

Gale very kindly painted my toenails in a cheery tomato red shade while I drank even more beer. (Occurs to me now that I should have offered to do hers as well, but I didn’t. Probably couldn’t have painted straight anyway…)

August 19, 2015

Had an appointment with Canada Trust first thing this morning to cancel dad’s bank account, Visa card and line of credit. Met with a very nice woman called Mary, who was extremely sympathetic and helpful. She obviously knew dad and seemed fond of him. She also went to Duchess Park a couple of years before I did.Dad’s bank account was practically empty, both his Visa and line of credit maxed out. Now that I’ve notified them, interest is frozen on all those debts until we settle the estate (sell the house basically) and have money to pay them.

Back at Wade’s, I contacted AMEX as well (also maxed out), but will need to send them a death certificate before the account can be frozen. Had time for a quick visit with Greg and Wendy before I needed to head down to HSBC to notify them and freeze yet another empty account, maxed out card and line of credit…

Adam and the girls arrived this evening — I’d missed those guys. When Greg, Drew and Wendy popped round, it was pretty much the first time we’d all been together since we scattered mum’s ashes until David’s crew headed off to stay with the McLaughlins. Aside from dad of course… and Landyn (not sure where he was…)

Drew had the good idea of preparing a slide show with pictures of dad for the service. I’ve brought my computer, so have all my digital photos, and I hope the others will send me some as well…

August 18, 2015

After breakfast, I returned to tackle the chaos of dad’s bedroom… While I doubt dad would get past the scouts for The Hoarder Next Door, he certainly has tendencies in that direction.There was lots of absolute garbage (used tissues, empty plastic bags and pill bottles) to throw out, and a mountain of magazines and newspapers to recycle. He has a serious amount of pills — prescription and otherwise — and diabetes paraphernalia, which I collected in a big box.

Once I cleared dad’s kitchen table — more plastic bags, magazines, four rock-hard baguettes, and a petrified apple pie — I established a work station where I could start tackling the paperwork. It’s hard to know where to start… I’ve been given lots of advice — which is different from help, and different from helpful too…

As I worked through the mountains of paper and bills, I unearthed a few nasty surprises, such as payday loans dad had taken out in the last couple of months, and an application to remortgage the McBride Crescent house. Will need to chase that down and see whether it has been granted…:-(

David has taken the lead on drafting dad’s obituary. I remember from when I did mum’s that it’s pretty hard to get it all right and not forget anything important. Not just the facts, but the thank yous and the whole tone of the thing.

It is also pretty expensive… After getting some quotes, we’ve decided to run a full one with a photo in the Prince George Citizen, and shortened versions in the Kelowna and Saanich papers.

David’s family arrived this afternoon. I had thought of staying in dad’s room, but that would have been too depressing. Liam was willing to give up his bed and sleep on the couch, so I relocated to his room for the night…

August 17, 2015

Adam got up early for a work call. He was just finishing when it was time for me to head out. Aaron and Margo drove me to Nanaimo, where I met up with Wade’s family at their motel and drove back to Victoria with them.Found the funeral home without too much difficulty. We dropped Gale and the kids at a nearby mall, and made our appointment. We had to make decisions about: viewing the body (I wanted to, Wade didn’t, but as dad was still travelling from the hospital, I ended up declining); shipping the remains to PG (this primarily involved purchasing a particular style of stainless steel urn); and what to do with the small balance remaining once his payment had been adjusted for inflation (we put towards the shipping).

Once we were finished, we collected Gale and the kids and drove straight to the airport. Security is certainly relaxed here compared to Europe — as it should be, I guess. Wade didn’t even have to be present to check himself onto the flight. The scanner guys gave bags a good looking over though…

Victoria to Vancouver is the shortest plane flight ever — it took about ten minutes. As it happened, the plane was actually continuing on the Prince George. But as only Gale was assigned to the same seat for the second leg, the rest of us need to disembark and be scanned in again.

Wade and Gale made straight for the bar, but I had a wander about. I’ve never seen this part of the new airport before, as I’m always in the international terminal.

We were just about to reboard when Isobel discovered she needed the loo. Gale went off with her to find one, while the rest of us got back on the plane. They were gone for ages — the steward had resorted to telling jokes while the flight waited. He seems to know an fair few (clean) barnyard jokes, but he was running out of material by the time they showed up…

As soon as we got to Wade’s, I headed down to dad’s room to search for his will. It was pretty chaotic in there — every surface was stacked high, and there were boxes of papers piled round the bed.

The closet was completely stuffed with bags and file boxes containing yet more paper. There wasn’t a lot of organisation evident, but assuming the most important stuff would been stored first, we cleared everything out and started from the back.

It took a few hours, but we found it… It’s the one that dad and mum had Don Kennedy draw up years ago, naming me as executor, which means I can start tackling his financial affairs, which are in a precarious state…

August 16, 2015

Slept until after 8am, only emerging from the basement when it was time for breakfast. Adam was already busy dealing the airlines. They are being very flexible about rescheduling our flights. I’ve decided to travel to Prince George with Wade’s family on Monday using dad’s ticket.We’d like to arrange dad’s service in PG for next Saturday. We like the idea of holding it at the Rod and Gun Club — it seems fitting. David had the idea somehow form the ashes into a clay pigeon (or attaching them underneath) and having his buddies blast him, but doubt that’s doable. Maybe an 84-shotgun salute?

Spent a lovely day on the wharf. Margo and Aaron borrowed a pair of kayaks for the girls, and they spent ages paddling around. They swam a lot too — Lyra doesn’t need a life jacket any more, so long as someone keeps a close eye on her.

After a refreshing mid-afternoon gin and tonic, we decided to follow through on Adam’s drunken ambition last night, to swim across the lake. Nova, Adam and I make the crossing. The others accompanying us in the motorboat to make sure we weren’t scythed down by a jetski (like poor Kirsty McColl).

I estimate it to be over a kilometre, but we took it pretty slowly and made it without incident. Aaron had thoughtfully towed a kayak across so no one had to swim home again.

Went into Port Alberni for dinner this evening. A husband and wife team have converted a retired tugboat into a B&B and restaurant, with room for one large table inside and another on the back deck. Margo had invited a few friends along, and we shared the big table with two couples, both of whom were celebrating their anniversary.

There’s a fixed menu each evening, which tends to be Moroccan as that’s where the wife is from. We had a delicious harira soup, followed by a watermelon salad. The main course was chicken tajine with couscous, and blueberry cheesecake for dessert — all of which was delicious, and left me stuffed by the end…

August 15, 2015

Only got a couple of hours’ sleep in the end… My mind was spinning with everything that had happened and all the things I had to do. Managed to get packed and tidied up in time to meet our greeter and hand over the keys.I wasn’t sure what I was going to do last night, but after talking to the funeral home where dad has his cremation plan and the hospital, it’s clear that we can’t take anything forward until Monday.

After speaking to both the coroner and the ICU, we have decided to decline the autopsy. It seems pretty clear that dad’s kidneys failed, which triggered the septicaemia. Whether it was a consequence of his diabetes (most likely) or brought about by something else, an autopsy might not be able to determine. And the coroner himself said that rather than giving closure, autopsies can sometimes “muddy the water” and have the opposite effect. So that’s one decision made…

We considered staying locally in a hotel, but decided it would feel a lot nicer to stay with friends. Wade and his family headed up to Nanaimo, and we set off for Margo and Aaron’s.

Made phone calls pretty much the whole way — the funeral home, David, Greg & Wendy, Josanne… As we were just approaching Parksville, we stopped in for a brief visit. Josanne has let her hair go white, which suits her much better, but otherwise looks exactly the same as the last time I saw her, which was about five years ago.

I could see that the news of dad’s death had shocked her, but she took it in Josanne fashion. “Well, that was just his shell you know,” she told me. “Ed has left that old shell behind — he doesn’t need it anymore…”

Arrived at Margo and Aaron’s about 4:30. The girls were straight into their swimsuits and down to the lake for a dip and a paddle in the little kayaks they’ve arranged for them to use. I’m going to wait for tomorrow to go for a swim.

Martinis, and a delicious salmon dinner — it felt really good to be looked after for a bit…

August 14, 2015

Dad died today… Actually he died just after midnight on the 15th, but there’s no other way to start this journal entry, which I’ve been putting off writing for almost a month…
Adam got up first to make the coffee. When he returned to the bedroom he told me that dad had been sick and that he’d helped clean him up. I went in to see dad straight away. He was still feeling nauseated, so I brought him a basin. When he threw up a second time, we decided to take him to a walk-in clinic if he didn’t improve in the next couple of hours.

Shortly afterwards, Bernard, Alisa and the kids dropped in unexpectedly for a visit. They’d been out picking blackberries and brought us a tub, which we ate for breakfast.

Dad wasn’t up for joining us, and when I checked on him a bit later, he was feeling even worse. It was definitely time to take him to the doctor. After a bit of discussion, we decided it made the most sense to call an ambulance.

They arrived pretty promptly. After assessing dad’s vital signs and reviewing his medication, they transferred him by stretcher to the ambulance. The medics didn’t seem overly worried, and even said that dad’s vitals all looked good.

Wade and I decided to give them time to admit dad before travelling to Saanich Hospital. Took the time to sort out a quick lunch for the kids, eat something ourselves and pack a few personal items for dad before we set off.

We were both shocked by dad’s condition when we saw him. In the half hour since leaving the house, he had deteriorated a lot. Although he appeared awake, he didn’t respond when we spoke to them and seemed to be in discomfort.

The ER nurse and doctor were very nice, and seemed to be keeping a close eye on dad. They had already drawn blood for some tests, catheterized him (which he clearly didn’t like), and started an IV drip to give him fluid and antibiotics.

Before long, they decided to move him from a side room into the horseshoe around the nurses’ station “where we can keep an eye on him”, which didn’t seem like a good sign.

The first blood test results showed that dad was fighting an infection. They increased the antibiotics, and because he was still so restless, gave him a shot of Dilaudid. The first dose didn’t do anything, but the second one helped a bit…

I’d been standing by the bed most of the time holding dad’s hand and talking to him, but he never gave any sign that he could hear me or knew we were there. He seemed very cold, and when the nurse returned she agreed with me, and hooked up a sort of hot air blanket. Dad’s temperature slowly increased and he seemed more comfortable, but that may have been the Dilaudid.

About this time, a more senior doctor turned up. After reviewing dad’s test results and consulting with the first guy, he came over to speak to us. Wade and I were both completely stunned by events, and it was hard to properly take in what he said.

The message seemed to be that Dad’s blood infection wasn’t responding to the antibiotics and his kidneys were failing. In light of what we learned later, it sounds like his kidneys failing was what triggered his septicaemia, but I didn’t grasp that at the time.

They talked about the “poison” in his blood, and I couldn’t understand where it could have come from, like maybe he’d eaten something or taken the wrong medication…

I could tell they were pretty worried, and were devoting nearly all the resources in the ER to his care. At one point, there were three or four medical professionals gathered around dad’s bed, which was another really bad sign. As was the head nurse asking if we knew whether dad was DNR (do not resuscitate). I said definitely not…

The senior doctor came over again and told us he wanted to transfer dad to Royal Jubilee. This involved some back and forth with that ICU, who clearly didn’t want to take him. Apparently the doctor there said that transferring dad would be “a waste of resources.”

Our doctor was clearly pissed off about that. “I’ll have that fight with him later. Right now I want to transfer your dad to where he has access to the best equipment, and that’s what’s happening.”

It took a while to prepare dad for the journey. The head ER nurse travelled with him in the ambulance to ensure continuity of care, which I was relieved about. Wade made phone calls to update the family, then we headed into Victoria and found the Royal Jubilee.

It was after 6pm by now. We had a good half hour wait before they let us in to see dad. The place was completely deserted aside from dad, a couple of nurses and the doctor.

I assume this was the person our Saanich guy had been talking to — at any rate, he was an insensitive little prick, which seemed to fit. He bluntly told us that dad’s septicaemia wasn’t responding to the antibiotics, his kidney function was minimal, and other organs would eventually fail as well, as in his experience he’d not seen anyone “with his numbers recover”.

Dad was hooked up to more machines than in Saanich, and was receiving additional meds to maintain his blood pressure. He’d been intubated as well, though he was still breathing on his own. He was unconscious by this point and seemed peaceful, which was less distressing than when he was agitated.

Not long afterwards, Uncle Bernard turned up unexpectedly. We’d been in contact with him during the day, but he was clearly shocked by dad’s condition. He could only stay a short while as he has macular degeneration, which proscribes him driving at night. But I’m very grateful he could be there with us for a time, and say goodbye to his brother.

Wade and I sat by dad’s bedside all evening, holding his hand. The nurse encouraged us to talk to him, which we took turns doing, though it was difficult to know what to say.

I recited every poem I’ve ever memorized to him — most of which where poems dad had loved and introduced to me. I don’t know whether dad heard a word, but his heartbeat, which had been erratic, settled back into a peaceful rhythm. And I had the thought that I’d been memorizing poems my whole life in readiness for this moment…

It was getting towards midnight by this point. There had been no significant change in dad’s condition, though his vital signs were gradually worsening. I asked the nurse in her experience how long she thought that dad would last. She said she didn’t think he would make it through the night. And if the machines were turned off? He would go very quickly, she said. And that’s what we did…

It immediately felt more peaceful — more right — without the intrusion and distraction of the tubes, the huffing of the ventilator. Dad looked so small and peaceful lying there, so old and so ageless. His breathing slowed and became more shallow. And then it stopped altogether…

We spent some time saying goodbye, but neither of us wanted to linger all that long. We walked through the deserted corridors, and out into the quiet night to where we’d parked the car. I don’t remember much of the drive home, except that I felt very empty and very sad, and sort of numb, like I was watching myself from the outside. My dear, dear dad…

August 13, 2015

We’d arranged to catch up with friends in Victoria today, so after breakfast we prised Lyra and Isobel apart and headed into the city.We’d arranged to meet Nick and Anna at Centennial Square, where there was a flamenco festival today. It wasn’t something I’d have gone out of my way to see, but I was wowed by it.

I hadn’t appreciated how narrative flamenco can be. I’d assumed it was a series of steps, like a rhumba or something, but this gal left us in no doubt that she’d been done a serious wrong by some nogoodnik of a man, and was more than better off without him…

Ate some lunch at the Green Cuisine vegan buffet nearby. Again, not the sort of place I’d have gone out of my way for, but the food was really nice. Nova was really into it — she’s taking an interest in vegan foods through her enthusiasm for juicing.

After saying our goodbyes, we headed over to my long-lost-friend Brenda’s house. Brenda and I were swimming buddies, and best mates for several years. We lost touch in high school, and I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen her since I was about sixteen.

There was that moment of surprise when you abruptly update someone’s face by thirty-odd years, but once I’d done that it seemed that she hadn’t changed a bit. Took their kayaks to Oak Bay and had a paddle then headed back to their house for a barbeque.

Brenda is an excellent cook — in fact, we ended up getting back in touch through Ten More Bites. There was barbequed salmon, potatoes, and corn on the cob with a delicious creamy spread she’s concocted. Dessert was chocolate silk pie, and proved a huge hit with the girls.

Brenda is also an excellent swimmer, and has started competing at Masters level. She attended the nationals in Montreal this spring, where her relay team set a world record in their age group. Both her girls swim competitively as well, so she’s completely immersed in that world still.

It was after 10pm by the time we got back to the house, but dad was still awake. He said he’d had some diarrheoa earlier, but was feeling better. He certainly looks perkier than he has the last couple of days. We had a beer together and he was still up talking with Wade and Gale when I went to bed at midnight…

August 12, 2015

Happy 64th birthday, Greg — pretty sure the Beatles wrote a song about this very situation…;-)Met Uncle Bernard at the Sidney Pier to fish for crabs. Alisa was there with her son David and Alexis too, who’s staying with Grandma Rosemary while her parents hike the West Coast Trail.

Bernard baited his crab trap with oyster meat and dropped it several times. He’d wait twenty minutes before pulling it up. Most times there was something in it, though not all the crabs were keepers. Caught four good-sized ones in the end, which he gave to us to cook for dinner.

While were there an orca and her calf cruised past the end of the pier…

When enthusiasm for crabbing waned, we shifted location to a nearby park. Alisa and I swung by the grocery store for picnic supplies on the way. Even though we went round the aisles separately, we ended up buying pretty much the same stuff…

Spent a relaxing few hours hanging out while the kids raced around. There was playground equipment, a splash park, and numerous apple trees perfect for climbing and picking unripe fruit.

Back at the house, Adam and Liam got busy preparing the crabs for dinner — boiling, cracking and picking the meat, then dressing it with garlic butter and heaping it on crackers for an appetiser. Delicious, but a lot of work for a few tasty mouthfuls…

Had a low-key evening in. Dad’s acid reflux was giving him trouble and he headed off to bed quite early. Adam was tired too — maybe all that unaccustomed cooking? — but Wade and I sat outside for ages watching for meteors.

It was a beautiful clear night for it, and we saw several in the end, but not the shower I was hoping for…

August 11, 2015

Spent a couple of hours this morning updating my family genealogy with the information Bernard has lent us. He’s got access to the microfiche at the Historical Society, and is unearthing all sorts of interesting tidbits.Like RP Horth winning a “fat man” race and being presented with a box of cigars. Or being responsible for introducing hawthorne trees to Vancouver Island. Or a Victoria Daily Colonist article from 1963 asking: “Does North Saanich Family Hold Record for Longevity? At the time with nine members of a family of 10 children still living, all born before 1900, with an average age of 74, the question could aptly be yes.”

Today’s outing was a trip to Elk Lake, about a twenty minute drive away. It was a popular day for it, and we nabbed the last two spaces in the parking lot. Found a wheelchair-navigable path down to the beach, but the only picnic tables free were in the blazing sun, so we set up our towels in partial shade round dad’s chair.

All the kids changed into their swimsuits — except Nova, who’d managed to forget hers. Fortunately, Gale had a spare teeshirt to lend her. Uncle Bernard turned up, and spent the afternoon with us. He’s such a character, so like dad in some ways it’s uncanny.

The two brothers are really enjoying spending time together — for the first time in twelve years. Dad’s even thinking he might stay with Bernard this weekend when we go up to see Margo and Wade to visit Bryan in Nanaimo.

Popped into the Grandpa’s corner store again on the way home. Dad came in this time to have a look around. Bought a tiger ice cream — now there’s a blast from the past. I’m going to look into the potential for making that when I get back to London…

Gale cooked spaghetti for dinner. She’s got her own way of doing it that’s different from dad’s, but still very nice. He’s told me more than once that Gale makes good spaghetti, and he’s absolutely right…

August 10, 2015

Bit of a later start than planned, staying up late drinking can have that effect…;-)Adam and I drove to Sidney and parked up in a little park near the harbour. Ran for three miles along the path, which was pretty but sort of smelly too. I thought it would be a good place to take dad. There are lots of interpretive signs about the local history and geography, which he would be interested in.

Wade and Gale had scrambled eggs and bacon waiting when we got back, which was lovely. Dad didn’t want to eat as he’d had indigestion in the night. He had an antacid and his pills with one of those little yogurt drinks he likes.

Gave the house a good cleaning before we set out. Those glass and marble surfaces are pretty unforgiving — but look great when you polish them up.

Uncle Bernard met us at the harbour. We strolled the pier and did the walk round to where the boats are moored. Dad wasn’t feeling up to walking, so Wade and I went off and rented a wheel chair. We’ve taken it for the week, which was a better deal and means it’ll be there if and when we need it.

According to dad, this charming harbour walk is the former site of the Sidney dump. It’s such a pretty spot — seems crazy that anyone ever thought it was the right place to put the dump…

Made our way round to where the boats are moored, then stopped for a drink in the pub. Gale ordered something called a “bulldog” — a bottle of Corona upended in a margarita. I never knew such a thing existed… Pints for the rest of us, and virgin pina coladas for the kids. Lyra never knew they existed either — would just have soon kept it that way…;-)

Adam and I stopped by the supermarket on the way home as it was our turn to cook dinner. Made salmon basted with horseradish and apple jelly, steamed rice and corn on the cob — very tasty.

Bernard loaned us a bag full of his genealogy papers — dad, Wade and I spent hours looking through them after dinner…

August 9, 2015

My first really good sleep since landing in Canada… and I feel like a different, better person for it…This is such a beautiful house — it’s a bit much really, but there were absolutely no other options — aside from hiring an entire boutique hotel in Sooke that had wedding party cancel at the last minute.

Actually that one cost twice as much money, so it wasn’t really an option either. Oddly enough, in spite of being so deluxe, the house feels really comfortable and relaxing.

Packed a picnic lunch, then set off to explore. Drove round Deep Cove looking at former family homes and property. You really get the sense that between the Horth and Wain families we owned most of north Saanich at one point…

Stopped by Holy Trinity church to see the family graves — and a few friends of dad’s who have been interred there over the years. According to the church website, Rufus Horth sold the property on which the church now stands on the condition that some of the land was used as a church site.

Ate our picnic across the street overlooking Patricia Bay. It was stinking hot, and dad wasn’t feeling great, so we decided to head back. Had a quick look at the Chalet (once owned by Uncle Brownie), and the Muse Winery, as well as popping into the old corner store, which is now a fancy deli-style place.

Bernard came round in the afternoon to show us the presentation he recently gave to the historical society. Apparently, until he joined the group the oldest participating resident hadn’t even moved to Saanich yet when Bernard left, and he’s been setting the record straight on a few things they had wrong.

He ended up joining us for dinner. Wade cooked steaks on the barbeque, with roast potatoes, green beans, and an avocado and tomato sort of relish.

Stayed up late talking and drinking, though dad took himself off to bed about 10pm…

August 8, 2015

Went for a morning run along Dallas Road with David and Adam, which brought back some marathon memories of the marathon. Mainly of how bloody long that last stretch felt, and of Al Steedman jogging along with us.Turned around at the inn we stayed at on race weekend,as we had to get back to the car before our parking ran out. Adam did a Tim Hortons run for breakfast — Nova has been campaigning for a Timmie’s fix, complaining that she’s been in Canada for over a week already and we’ve yet to visit…

We were packed and out by 11am. Because Adam complained about the patchy wifi, we got 15% off our bill. Should have found a few more things to moan about — we might have got the whole room comped…

We had a few hours to fill before we could take possession of the rental house. Adam wanted to treat dad to a visit to the barber. He’s looking a bit untended, which isn’t like him.

After dropping them off, we walked towards the harbour. Nova and Gale went off to do some shopping, while the rest of us visited the Bug Museum. I know it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but I found it very interesting.

The kids had a great time holding stick insects and cockroaches, but only adults were allowed to hold the tarantula and giant scorpion. I had no intention of doing so, until Lyra pressured me into it. The tarantula was very soft and gentle feeling, and surprisingly light. I got so I didn’t mind holding it.

The scorpion I didn’t even look at until the guy finally took it away. Lyra was very proud that I was the only person that was willing to hold it at all. Apparently,would have been no worse than a bee sting if it had taken against me…

Adam and dad joined us in the museum. Dad’s looking much better for his grooming:

Ate lunch at a little sandwich bar down the street before heading out to the house in North Saanich. Amazing as it looked in the photos, the reality was even more impressive — the place is stunning.

Located on what used to be called Horth Cross Road according to dad, it looks over the land where Uncle Loe used to run his cattle. He called it “the ranch” apparently.

It’s just a couple of blocks from the little shop we used to walk to visit when we stayed with our grandparents on Birch Road. I hadn’t remembered that Grandpa Dick had actually built it.

Paul popped in on us on his way to the ferry. He’s moving back to Prince George to get back on his feet. He’s been having a pretty bad time of things since splitting with Susannah, and has been sleeping in a tent in Beacon Hill Park for much of the summer.

After a quick run to the grocery store, Adam and I cooked dinner in the gorgeous, chef-standard kitchen — chicken tikka, basmati rice and kachumber, washed down with a nice bottle of Don David wine.

August 7, 2015

Today’s plan was to meet Uncle Bernard, Danny, Anita and their two girls at Horth Hill Park. It was like herding cats to get our group of ten ready, especially as some members of the party were a little worse for wear…;-)We also needed to drive Wade into town to pick up his hire car, pack a picnic lunch, and fight our way through a surprising amount of rush hour traffic. I was amazed we managed to arrive only fifteen minutes late…

There had been some talk of hiring a wheelchair for dad in Sidney, but I could see immediately that wouldn’t have worked out — the terrain was too rugged for that.

We started making our way up the path, but it was quickly apparent that dad wasn’t going to be able to make it to the top. Stopped at the first likely spot on the path and had our picnic there.

While the guys headed back down again with dad, the rest of us carried on to the summit. That Uncle Bernard is like a mountain goat, albeit a slightly unsteady one, and was first to reach the top.

I’d thought the park was former family land, but according to Bernard his grandfather owned the land that is now Victoria Airport. During WW2, it was requisitioned so the army airbase could be expanded. His aunt Nell Horth, who was active in local politics, campaigned for the park to be named after the family in recognition.

Had a coffee together in Sidney afterwards until it was time for Bernard to catch the Jays game on TV, and Danny and Anita to catch the Saltspring Ferry.

Back at the hotel, we had takeaway sushi for dinner — man, those kids can hoover up the sushi…

After dinner, Adam, David and I popped over to visit Rob Draeseke, who has bought a flat about five minutes away. Fun evening remembering the craziness we got up to in the 1980s. I go back a long way with these guys…

August 6, 2015

There was a mix-up with our running plans this morning. We were up at 7:30 as agreed, but there was no sign of David. After waiting half an hour for him, I went downstairs and rapped on the windows, but there was no answer. We finally decided to set off anyway, and met him just coming back…Did our four miles on the Galloping Goose trail, which was once a rail line running between Victoria and Sooke. Did two miles out to the first wooden trestle bridge, and two miles back. Although the trail crosses a number of roads (at least the part we did) runners and cyclists have priority, which is pretty cool.

Grabbed a quick shower and a bowl of cereal in our room, which has a kitchenette. They’re little flats really.

A group of ten takes ages to mobilise, but wevfinally set off for the provincial museum. Adam and I drove dad, while everyone else walked. Parking was a huge hassle, and Adam eventually dropped us off and continued the search.

I’d bought the tickets and was just organising a wheelchair for dad when everyone else rocked up. Started with the special exhibition on the gold rush in BC, which was interesting enough but not as good as the permanent exhibits.

By the time we’d seen it, the kids were getting hungry, so we headed out to the courtyard, where there was an array of food trucks. I went for the salmon burger, and bought sliders for dad and the kids. David opted for an Aussie burger, which included a slice of pickled beetroot — delicious, and everyone else went Mexican.

There was a beer truck too — all of us went for that. We were having such a good time in the courtyard, that it took a bit of persuading to herd everyone back inside.

Checked out the natural history exhibits next, and saw my old friend the wooly mammoth and all those wonderful panoramas. They don’t seem to have changed a thing and I’m so glad.

Headed upstairs to the people of BC display. I love all the artefacts from the 1970s, and the sections on resources, Captain Vancouver’s ship, and the turn of the century buildings. It brings back so many memories of childhood trips to Victoria.

We didn’t have time to visit the First Nations stuff, which was a shame, as I love that bit. But at least we’re planning to visit the Museum of Anthropology when we get back in Vancouver…

Adam went off to retrieve the car while we headed for the exits. Loaded up dad and the three kids, and the rest of us caught a bus back to the motel. I took the kids for a swim, and by the time I got back Paul Carmichael had arrived.

Ate dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory — another blast from the past…

When we got back to the hotel, Adam, Nova and I headed over for a visit with John and Jin-sun’s house, who live only a few blocks away. Jin-sun and I have had our issues over the years, but it was really good to see them again… Home about 1am…

August 5, 2015

Another early start, but no time for a run unfortunately. There was loads to do to get the flat sorted for the next guests, and us ready for our trip to Victoria.After everyone showered, I stripped the beds and washed and dried the sheets and towels. Gave the flat a thorough cleaning, then left the girls (a risky strategy in a clean flat), and caught a bus downtown pick up our rental car.

Back at the flat, I did the last few chores while Adam transferred our many bags to the car, did a final search for forgotten items, and set off. John and Bradley are planning to give up the flat soon, so it’s probably the last time we’ll stay in it. Sad… it’s been our home in Vancouver since Nova was a baby…

Stopped by the Topanga Cafe for a quick lunch before leaving town. Peter was able to join us, which was nice as Adam hadn’t had a chance ot talk to him at the barbeque last night.

Adam and I split the nachos supreme, Nova had a bean burrito and Lyra ordered a bowl of chicken soup. It was plenty of food, especially after the girls ordered a piece of chocolate cake the size of Lyra’s head.

We’d made a reservation for the ferry, which proved unnecessary, as it was half full. After an uneventful sailing, we landed and Swartz Bay and made our way to the Gorge Travel Lodge.

Our room was pretty nice, with a separate bedroom for us, and a hideabed for the girls. Everyone else had arrived, and were hanging out in Wade’s room drinking beer.

It’s the first time I’ve seen dad in two years, and even though Wade had prepared me, I was pretty shocked at how thin he’d become. Apparently he’s lost a lot of weight in the last few weeks.

The kids were keen to go for a swim, so Gale went off to supervise them while the guys went to get provisions. I stayed and visited with Dad. Cold cuts, cheese and baguette for dinner — and beer of course.

Stayed drinking until about 10pm before calling it a night. We’re planning to do a run with David on the Galloping Goose trail tomorrow morning, which is just metres from the hotel. Wade has done well finding this place, but it’s not that conducive to visiting. I’ll be glad when we can move to the rental house…

August 4, 2015

Felt a bit heavy headed this morning after our big night at Alisa’s. These Canadian friends and relatives sure like a drink or three. I only hope they are carrying on like this for our benefit, and not making a regular thing of it..;-)I’ve been feeling a bit stressed about how we’re getting to Vancouver Island tomorrow. We were considering the possibility of not hiring a car until we got there, but that strikes me as pretty daft what with all the luggage and the need to get to Tswassen and then into Victoria from Swartz Bay. Not sure what we were thinking…

Adam headed off for a meeting with Van City, and Nova and I walked up to the Sky Train. Alisa met us at the 41st station to hand over Lyra. Sounds like the sleepover was a great success.

Took the girls for the promised mall shopping outing at Richmond Centre. To my surprise, they made a beeline straight for H&M — one of the few shops we can find back in the UK.

Eventually got them out of there, and made our way round the rest of the mall. There were lots of clothes selling stuff that Nova was keen to try on, but less for Lyra. Makes sense — mall shopping is designed for teenage girls. She did end up with a pair of mint Converse and a hot pink bikini — what else does a girl need?

The big excitement of the trip was when we discovered an outlet of Bath and Body Works. Nova has been obsessed with their hand sanitizers and shower gels ever since a friend brought her a set from a trip to Florida.

I let them go wild, and they had a great time choosing between a baffling array of scents such as Sweet Peach Tea, Paris Amour and Island Margarita. Hand sanitizer… how has that become such a thing?

Ate in the food court before heading home. Both girls went for chicken burgers and fries — Lyra plumped for KFC and Nova for A&W — and both seemed surprisingly good quality to me, though I’d say A&W had the edge.

After being slightly tempted by the gourmet hotdog and poutine options, I got myself a salad roll from Vina. “I know why you chose that salad roll,” Lyra said, “because Vancouver has inspired you to become a more healthy eater!” — quoting an unfortunate remark Adam made the other day that he’s been ridiculed for ever since…

When Adam got back from work, we headed off to Deep Cove for a staff barbeque. Happily, we’d located the car key by this point (a friend had borrowed it from their flat and failed to return it), so we were able to drive. It would have been a bitch getting there by public transport.

Drove out along Hastings Street through rush hour traffic more sedate than early Sunday morning in London. The other cars were moseying along so peacefully, the lanes were so wide and accommodating, the lights changing obligingly as we reached them, the whole experience was like some driving relaxation exercise.

This was the first time I’d met any of Adam’s Vancouver colleagues. Peter was over from India as well, and I had a long talk with him. He’s feeling pretty guilty about the way they are cutting the rest of the organisation adrift — makes me wonder if they’re pulling a fast one…

There were lots of kids of all ages, and the girls found people to hang out with. I overheard two little tousle-headed blonde girls introducing themselves to Lyra: “I’m Aastrid, she’s Ingrid. She’s poddy trayning!”

Drove home along the North Shore and over the Lions Gate Bridge. We hadn’t intended to come that way, but missed the Second Narrows turn-off. Actually we were nervous of taking it — they were calling it something else (the Ironworkers Bridge, maybe?) and also making threatening noises about Highway 1 East…

August 3, 2015

Met my old work colleague Elizabeth for breakfast at this funky cafe called The Greenhorn on Nicola Street. She’s had a rough few months, having recently left her marriage of twenty years. She didn’t go into detail, but seems Donald was having affairs, online and otherwise…:-(

Spent the rest of the morning at Second Beach Pool with my cousin Richard’s family. There’s some friction between those cousins at the moment. Richard and Alisa have had a bit of a falling out over family issues.

Alexis and Lyra were shy with each other at first, but eventually started playing together while the rest of us visited. They are heading off to hike the West Coast Trail next week — though poor Tanya broke her toe the other day, which might throw a wrench in their plans…

We’d planned to use Brad’s car to drive to Alisa’s in the afternoon, but the key was not to be found. Even texted the guys in Scotland to make sure we weren’t missing something, but they had no idea why it wasn’t there either. Caught a cab in the end, which was okay — and a lot cheaper than it would have been in London.

David was waiting on the lawn when we pulled up — apparently he’d been out there for the best part of an hour he was so eager to see his cousin Lyra again. After the gift exchange (I was armed and ready!), we sat on the deck drinking beer while Lyra and David played in the garden.

Brenda was there too, though neither of her girls were able to make it. She had a couple of bags of clothes they’d grown out off — some really good stuff that Nova was very pleased to get her hands on. (There’s a black Juicy Couture tracksuit that I can see will be a point of contention, as it’s just a bit too small for Nova and a bit too big for Lyra…)

I passed along Richard’s best wishes, which Alisa batted aside — she’s pretty mad at him it appears. It sounds like the kind of thing they could be resolved with a good, air-clearing conversation, but I’m not going to stick my nose into it…

Alisa is a keen cook and a food blogger as well, and the dinner of marinated grilled beef and Caesar salad was delicious. Ate too much, which was just as well as I certainly drank too much…

David was keen to have Lyra stay for a sleepover. I couldn’t get a clear reading from her about whether she wanted to or not, so decided to let her stay. I think she was a bit nervous about us leaving her, but was keen not to hurt his feelings…

Adam and I were both pretty drunk by the time we left — just as well we couldn’t find the keys to that car…

August 2, 2015

Yet another not great sleep — I seem programmed to wake at 4am. Hope that shifts soon…At least it gave me the chance to run the seawall again. Adam joined me this time. I had to slow it up a bit for his dodgy knee, but we made it round okay…

Breakfasted at the English Bay Starbucks, mostly so we could see Brenda’s daughter Celia who works there now. It was crazily busy, what with the Pride Parade crowds already forming, so we didn’t have much of a visit, but it was still nice to see her.

We’d planned to meet our friends Trevor and Marni at Park Royal at 1pm. The Pride Parade was in full flow by the time we left the flat, and we spent twenty minutes or so enjoying the floats and carnival atmosphere. Lyra was an absolute magnet for anyone handing out freebies. Within minutes she’d scored a flag, necklaces, Mr Freezie, lollipops, candies…

Strugged through the crowds to Georgia Street, where we eventually caught a bus across the Lion’s Gate Bridge. Trevor and Marni were waiting with cars to drive us out to Squamish to ride the new Sea to Sky gondola.

It was a beautiful day for it, with amazing views over Burrard Inlet and the Coast Mountains. Spent a couple of hours walking around up there, and came across a family of grouse:

Went back to their condo in North Van for a lovely dinner, which we ate on their rooftop deck. Great food, craft beers, wine… I needed rolling into the taxi when it was time to go home…

August 1, 2015

Woke up early again, and headed off to Safeway to buy groceries. The girls were keen to come along, which certainly had an influence on the food I ended up buying:

Breakfast of champions

I’m a breakfast cereal nazi when we’re at home — Weetabix, All Bran or meusli, with Cheerios or Rice Krispies as a special treat. They’ve never even tasted Cocopuffs or Cap’n Crunch or even Frosted Flakes.

They were gobsmacked when I allowed the Minion cereal into the shopping basket. And disgusted when they tasted how sugary and greasy it was. So that was probably money well spent. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it…;-)

(BTW, the doughnut in the front is Nova’s maple-bacon one (not very good), Lyra chose banana cream (pretty tasty), and Adam and I went for plain glazed ones.)

Headed down to Denman Cycles after breakfast to rent bikes to cycle the seawall. Lyra was determined to have her own bicycle this year instead of tagging along behind Adam. And once she had it, she seemed equally determined not to ride it.

We ended up walking the two blocks to where the path starts. I thought she’d climb on the thing and — after a bit of wobbling — remember how to do it. You never forget how to ride a bicycle, right? Turns out some people do…

Eventually Nova and Adam went off to cycle while I stayed with Lyra trying to get her up to speed. Nothing doing… After a frustrating 45 minutes of tantrums, tears and scrapes, they returned having cycled half the seawall before cutting across.

Adam did a little more practice with Lyra while Nova and I pedalled out to the Roger Bannister statue. We were running out of time by this point, and had no option but to turn around and walk our bikes back against the flow of traffic so we could return them to Denman Cycles. What a fiasco…>:-(

The day started looking up again when we met our friend Bruce for lunch at the Vancouver Yacht Club. It was my first time behind the gates, and it was neat to get down on the water among the boat sheds.

Bruce bought us sandwiches and beer for lunch — we were in the family café bit, not the fancier dining room — which we ate on the balcony. I wish we’d chosen a table with an umbrella though — I was half-baked by the time we left…

Walked back to the apartment and grabbed our swimming gear. Spent a couple of hours at Second Beach pool. The girls swam, but I didn’t feel like it, though it was very hot. No energy to do laps I guess…

In the evening, we headed over to Carol and Scott’s flat for dinner and fireworks. Kicked things off in style with one of Scott’s excellent martinis, followed by an equally excellent bloody Caesar. Dinner courtesy of the Won More, still going strong after all these years…

For the first time ever, Nova managed to stay awake through much of the firework display. I don’t think she’s seen a single one on our previous visits… Waited for the crowds to clear then headed back to the flat and crashed out.