Family Journal

October 2024

October 2024

“Go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” ~ Frank Scully

September 2024

September 2024

“Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath but the view is much better.” ~ Ingrid Bergman

August 2024

August 2024

“Your time is limited. Don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” ~ Steve Jobs

July 2024

July 2024

“Mindfulness isn’t difficult, we just need to remember to do it.”
~ Sharon Salzburg

June 2024

June 2024

“The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.”
~ Pablo Picasso

May 2024

May 2024

“We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves.”
~ Aldous Huxley, The Doors of Perception

April 2024

April 2024

“Life’s a bitch and she’s back in heat…”
~ Nada, They Live

March 2024

March 2024

“Well something’s lost, but something’s gained
  In living every day.”
~ Joni Mitchell

February 2024

February 2024

“I tell you, we are on this Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.”
~ Kurt Vonnegut

January 2024

January 2024

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
~ Will Rogers

December 2023

December 2023

“So this is Christmas, and what have you done?” ~ John Lennon

November 2023

November 2023

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” ~ Epictetus

October 2023

October 2023

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” ~ Robert Frost

September 2023

September 2023

“There are years that ask questions, and years that answer.” ~Zora Neale Hurston

August 2023

August 2023

“Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” ~Confucius

July 2023

July 2023

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” ~Simone Weil

June 2023

June 2023

“You could not have everything: the whole wisdom of life amounted to that. Whatever you had, was instead of something else. ” ~Tessa Hadley

May 2023

May 2023

“It’s not the notes you play. It’s the notes you don’t play.” ~Miles Davis

April 2023

April 2023

“Feeling resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~St Augustine

March 2023

March 2023

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” ~Lao Tzu

February 2023

February 2023

“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.” ~Albert Einstein

January 2023

January 2023

“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s path.” ~Joseph Campbell

December 2022

December 2022

“It is impossible to begin to learn that which one thinks one already knows.” ~Epictetus

November 2022

November 2022

“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.” ~William Morris

October 2022

October 2022

“Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.”
~ W.S. Merwin, Separation

September 2022

September 2022

“So moments pass as though they wished to stay.
We have not long to love. A night. A day…”
~ Tennessee Williams

August 2022

August 2022

“Time spent laughing at yourself is time well spent.”
~ Jim Carrey

July 2022

July 2022

“Idealism increases in direct proportion to one’s distance from the problem.”
~ John Galsworthy

June 2022

June 2022

“If you torture the data long enough, it will confess to anything.”
~ Ronald Coase

May 2022

May 2022

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”
~ Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

April 2022

April 2022

“Sometimes you make up your mind about something without knowing why, and your decision persists by the power of inertia. Every year it gets harder to change.”
~ Milan Kundera

March 2022

March 2022

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”
~ George Santayana, 1922

February 2022

February 2022

“The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.”
~Elizabeth Bishop, One Art

January 2022

January 2022

“His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.”~James Joyce, The Dead

December 2021

December 2021

“I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you’re doing.”~Jim Gaffigan

November 2021

November 2021

“Common sense and a sense of humour are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour is just common sense, dancing.” ~Clive James

October 2021

October 2021

“I didn’t say all that shit.” ~Confucius

September 2021

September 2021

“Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.” ~Will Durant

August 2021

August 2021

“It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and when we no longer know which way to go we have begun our real journey.” ~Wendell Berry

July 2021

July 2021

“It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and when we no longer know which way to go we have begun our real journey.” ~Wendell Berry

June 2021

June 2021

“It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and when we no longer know which way to go we have begun our real journey.” ~Wendell Berry

May 2021

May 2021

“The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.” ~David Foster Wallace

April 2021

April 2021

“Family — the final frontier of spiritual growth.” ~Anonymous

March 2021

March 2021

“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.” ~Carl Jung

February 2021

February 2021

“Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.” ~John Heywood

January 2021

January 2021

“You don’t have to control your thoughts, you just have to stop letting them control you.” ~Dan Millman

December 2020

December 2020

“Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky, The flying cloud, the frosty light: The year is dying in the night; Ring out, wind bells, and let him die.” ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

October 2020

October 2020

“If you want endless repetition, see a lot of different people. If you want infinite variety, stay with one.”

September 2020

September 2020

“I know the past is the past. Then again, the present’s nothing without it.” ~Ezra Furman

August 2020

August 2020

“Whether it’s the best of times or worst of times, it’s all the time we’ve got.” ~Art Buchwald

July 2020

July 2020

“There is nothing permanent except change.” ~Heraclitus

June 2020

June 2020

“Tomorrow never comes… it’s all the same fuckin’ day, man…” ~Janis Joplin

May 2020

May 2020

“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes a day, unless you are too busy — in which case you should sit for an hour.” ~Author Unknown

April 2020

April 2020

“The face of London was now indeed strangely altered.” ~Daniel Defoe, A Journal of the Plague Year

March 2020

March 2020

“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.” ~Richard Bach

February 2020

February 2020

“We are so lightly here. It is in love that we are made. In love we disappear.” ~Leonard Cohen

January 2020

January 2020

“It’s like that. It’s just the way it is.” ~Run DMC

December 2019

December 2019

“Everything is a miracle. It is a miracle that one does not dissolve in one’s bath like a lump of sugar.” ~Pablo Picasso

November 2019

November 2019

The best time to plant a tree was was 20 years ago.
The second best time is now.
~Chinese proverb

October 2019

October 2019

Goodbye, brief lives,
ablaze with tenderness;
today the glory of the leaves
is enough, for I am learning anew
to release all I cannot hold,
these moments of luminous grace
saying Here and here is beauty,
here grief: this is the way to come home
~Carolyn Smart, October

September 2019

September 2019

“If you can talk brilliantly about a problem, it can create the consoling illusion that it has been mastered.” ~Stanley Kubrick

August 2019

August 2019

“We write to taste life twice — in the moment and in retrospect.”. ~Anäis Nin

July 2019

July 2019

“You know my feelings: every day is a gift. It’s just, does it have be a pair of socks?”. ~Tony Soprano

December 2018

December 2018

“You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.”
~Eric Hoffer

November 2018

November 2018

“You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.”
~Eric Hoffer

December 2017

December 2017

“The days are short
The sun a spark
Hung thin between
The dark and dark.”
~John Updike

November 2017

November 2017

“Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.” ~Barry Switzer

February 2017

February 2017

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. ~Epictetus

December 2011

December 2011

Dinner was Baron of beef, a special request of Nova’s. I’d made it last year after we decorated the tree, and she’d said, “Let’s always have this for dinner on the day we do the tree.” I would have forgotten about it if she hadn’t reminded me. For some reason, Nova wouldn’t eat it…

December 2007

December 2007

There was an obvious drug deal going on a few metres away, the telephone booth was crowded with hoodies, a couple of boys on bikes cruised slowly round to no apparent purpose, a couple of teens were dry humping against the wall. “Why are they jiggly hugging like that?” Nova asked. Didn’t answer that one…

November 2007

November 2007

Nova’s verdict on tonight’s tuna chowder: “This is hot, fantastic soup! It is better than good and worse than magnificent.”

October 2007

October 2007

“I want to live in the country like Harriet,” Nova complained this evening. “Why’s that?” I asked. “Because then we can afford a trampoline, and get lots of animals and lock them up for years and then eat them!”

September 2007

September 2007

After breakfast, Nova and I headed off to the salon in the village to get our hair done. “You two baldies can just stay home and look at each other!” she instructed Adam and Lyra.

August 2007

August 2007

There is no greater pleasure in life than holding your child’s little hand — I suspect that life doesn’t actually get any better than this.

July 2007

July 2007

At one point Lyra grabbed a hank of the hair of the German tourist sitting next to me, and pulled like it was the emergency stop cord.

December 2005

“Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky, The flying cloud, the frosty light: The year is dying in the night; Ring out, wind bells, and let him die.” ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

October 2005

“The sausage that arrived was the size of a turd and smelled worse, reeking of innards and death.”

September 2005

“I’m going to be a mermaid, because they are the most beautiful creatures in the whole sea. Daddy, you can be a playful dolphin. Mummy, you can be an octopus.”

August 2005

“How good it is!” Nova gasped when she caught sight of all the rides.

July 2005

“There is nothing permanent except change.” ~Heraclitus

June 2005

June 2005

“Tomorrow never comes… it’s all the same fuckin’ day, man…” ~Janis Joplin

May 2005

“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes a day, unless you are too busy — in which case you should sit for an hour.” ~Author Unknown

April 2005

“I can’t eat this mashed yam, mommy — it doesn’t go with what I’m wearing!”

March 2005

“Warm, comfortable, pockets, beige… what more do you want from a garment?”

February 2005

Adam thought my motto should be, “Worry lots and lie down.” I suggested his might be “Avoid getting dressed before noon.”

January 2005

“I was going to get a SMEG, but they are so last year! Do you know, Pat on EastEnders has one! That did it for me…” ~St Michaels school mum

December 2004

Ruby loves the idea of getting Nova on a leash and leading her around like a dog, and Nova just doesn’t want to play that game. It’s been a point of contention in the past…

November 2004

Dear Santa,
I love Christmas. I want to get baby Zijada, then I’ll have five babies. Please can I have a cot to put the baby in when it’s tired please. I would like to have a moon in my stocking, and a star. And you have to give me a sky too. Thank you Santa, love Nova

October 2004

Wearing my safety gloves (I would have liked a mask as well) I gingerly opened one to reveal… a heap of grandpa’s old underpants.

September 2004

I went up to the enquiries desk and said, “Are you the kind of person who would recognise a piece of classical music if I sang it to you? Because I don’t want to do it twice…”

August 2004

“Shall I read Little Red Riding Hood?” “No,” she said, “Read Little Pink Riding Poop”, which she thought was hilariously funny.

July 2004

“Shall we put on your panties?” I asked. “NO PANTIES!” Nova yelled, snatching them from my hand and running from the room. “Throw my panties IN THE BIN!!”

June 2004

“Does my poop poop have a name? Yeah – Ruby. That’s a good name!”

May 2004

“Daddy dropped me on my head, but it was an accident.”

April 2004

“The face of London was now indeed strangely altered.” ~Daniel Defoe, A Journal of the Plague Year

March 2004

“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.” ~Richard Bach

February 2004

“Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.” ~John Heywood

January 2004

“Oh dear!” she cried, “I got snow on my boot!” A few minutes later, “OH DEAR!!! Mommy’s got snow on her HEAD!!”

December 2003

I’ve been priming Nova for Ed and David’s visit for a few days now, and when the doorbell rang this morning, she cried, “It’s Grandpa Ed and Uncle David!” Actually, it was the woman from the NatWest wine club delivering our case of Christmas wine…

November 2003

Nova comes up to me nearly every day and says, “Mommy’s very happy!” as if saying it will make it so. She also says, “Grandma Fern’s all better now,” quite a bit…

September 2003

Nova’s list of bedtime companions is really getting out of hand. She always has her three teddies and three meggies, but last night as I tucked her in she said in a rush: “Want Po want Tinky want LaLa want Dipsy, want Babu want Fimbu, wantaflipperwantaladlewantaspoonwantaknife!”

August 2003

“Where’s your poop-poop, Nova?” I asked her as I changed her nappy before bed. “In my bum-bum,” she said seriously.

July 2003

On the journey home we sat across from the most ginormous baby I’ve ever seen. It was only about six months old and toothless, but was at least Nova’s size. The mom was pretty hefty as well, and Nova kept referring to her loudly as the “baby’s daddy”.

June 2003

Nova started tearing about like a hyena on speed, throwing herself on beds and couches, climbing on chairs and tables, snatching things from display bins and shelves, and shrieking and flailing about wildly whenever we managed to get ahold of her. It was unbelievable…

May 2003

Nova was tired and restless, and acted up in the line. To my utter disbelief and mortification, she actually reached up and grabbed the man behind us by the balls.

April 2003

Nova took a shine to a particularly grotesque doll named Marcellino Subacqueo, which she christened “swim dolly”. It looks like a 50-something ex-Communist dictator kitted out for a beach holiday on the Black Sea. A bald head, leering expression, great round belly, protruding man breasts, love handles, and a tiny floral swimsuit that fails to cover the crack of its butt. Ludicrously dressed in bright purple flippers, mask and snorkel, it looks more like a sex pervert than a swim dolly, but whatever its failings, it kept Nova happily entertained for most of the day.

March 2003

It occurred to me the other day that we don’t own a single piece of comfortable furniture…

February 2003

Nova cut out animal shapes, yelling “Push!” like a demented midwife each time she pressed out a biscuit.

January 2003

Nova has added the word “bugger” to her repetoire…

December 2002

We we putting the finishing touches on our costumes when Nova came bursting down the hall screaming, “Door! Door!! Door!” with Martha hot on her heels wielding a plastic battle axe like a miniature beserker.

November 2002

Nova’s been saying “cake” today. She’s suggested it at random times throughout the day, as if the idea has just popped into her head. I’ve never given her any cake, and can only assume it’s a treat she enjoys at Pascale’s.

October 2002

It’s dawning on me that being a parent is not so much a job in itself as a series of jobs, and you’re constantly switching hats, or wearing a few at once…

September 2002

Nova ate like the family honour was at stake: half a potato mashed with tuna and cheese, a pile of green beans, some rice and seafood sauce, several chips, a hunk of bread, cucumber slices, a handful of corn, a box of raisins, two dinosaur biscuits, a third of a creme caramel…

August 2002

Nova has taken to shaking her head vigorously when you are trying to spoon something into her. It has nothing to do with the food itself — she’ll stop and open her mouth like a baby bird between shakes. I’ve taken to nodding just as vigorously as she shakes, which reduces both of us to giggles.

July 2002

Here we were surrounded by mountains and glacial lakes, and I was spending most of my time looking over my shoulder, trying to read “Where’s Rusty” upside down or recite Dr Seuss’s ABC from memory.

June 2002

The little flower girl came through the doors and tugged on my sleeve. “The swimming pool is on fire,” she reported seriously. “Yes, doesn’t it look lovely!” I replied, and continued filling my face. Fortunately, she shared her news with a more responsible adult, because the swimming pool was on fire — one of the floating candles had been sucked into the filtration system, and flames were shooting up the side of the pool.

May 2002

Nova’s latest trick is emptying all the food she can reach out of the pantry cupboard. She’s especially partial to bottles of wine, olive oil etc. which land with a satisfying crash and roll along the floor. In fact, she has a little routine established.

April 2002

Went into the office this afternoon to discuss my return to work. It was strange to be getting ready for an outing and thinking “keys, bus pass, filofax…” instead of “beaker, change kit, muslin, squeaky toy…” In fact, I pulled quite a pile of biscuits, rattles, wipes etc. out of my bag that I wasn’t even aware I was carrying around. 

March 2002

Fern had given me a gold sovereign on a chain that had been my great grandmother’s, who had “always set great store by it”. I decided to wear it in the hope that it would bring me good luck on the flight. The instant Anne sat down next to me, I knew that I’d hit the jackpot. She was a kind, friendly, grandmotherly sort, and her first words were, “A baby! How lovely!”

February 2002

The Canadian baby opens the programme with a good, strong cry. Great response time from the Canadian mom — she’s up out of a deep sleep and on her feet in less than seven seconds. Threading the darkened course between the hide-a-bed and the coffee table with confidence…

January 2002

Clown Town seemed to be popular with kids, but it was a little hell on earth from my perspective. We stayed about a lifetime, then stopped off at Tescos before heading home, where I did a number on my back getting Nova out of her car seat that had me prostrate for the rest of the evening…

December 2001

Nova had a bit of a choking incident at lunch. I was holding a piece of orange for her, and she was sucking away happily, when all of a sudden she gave an especially powerful suck and hoovered it right out of my hand.

November 2001

Nova has all these anatomically inaccurate “educational” toys — a six-legged spider, an eight-legged lady bug, a five-legged octopus, a four legged fly. I know it’s unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but it annoys me all the same.

October 2001

Nova and I got a little more adventure than we bargained for when we set off on a diaper shopping outing to Archway. (Sentences like that really bring home how much my life has changed — diaper shopping outings in Archway! — checking last year’s diary I discovered that last October 26th I was having dinner at Zafferano’s in Knightsbridge…)

September 2001

Unlike the other three-year-olds we know, Ceinwen wasn’t particularly interested in baby Nova. When David asked her, “Do you like baby Nova, Ceinwen?” she said sincerely, “Nope!”

August 2001

We fly off to Edinburgh tomorrow at 6:30am, and the whole day has been devoted to planning and packing. Going places never used to be this complicated — you’d think we were setting of to cross the Empty Quarter on foot.

July 2001

The midwife helped us strap Nova into the car seat and we made the long walk from the ward to the parking lot.The responsibility is dizzying. We know next to nothing about looking after newborn babies, it seems crazy that we are entrusted with this job.